Intermezzo
by Liliumscribe
Summary: Chiaki and Nodame, now in their early 30s, have been leading separate lives for the past 5 years. Can a love that is lost be regained? Or perhaps that love was never lost in the first place?
1. Chapter 1: Prelude

**Intermezzo – **_A new story guaranteed to depress. An antithesis to A Roman Holiday._

_Disclaimer: Nodame, Chiaki and Streseman are the invention of Tomoko Ninomiya. Any similarities to persons dead/alive or situations real/imagined is purely coincidental. _

**Chapter 1 : Prelude**

She had done it. She was now in the company of a very select group of pianists… She now had under her belt, the instrument's three most coveted prizes and completed a successful world tour. All in a matter of five years. But now Noda Megumi was world weary and ready to take a much needed break… to find refuge in her family home and get away from it all.

She was in New York, performing with the New York Symphony Orchestra as a finale to her world tour. One of her greatest dream had come to pass… to perform Rhapsody in Blue in the States although in one important way, it was a dream only partially realized.

An old friend had come to visit… the great, if somewhat lascivious Franz Streseman had come backstage to congratulate her.

"Nodame… my dear girl… well done." He said heartily.

"Milch… you came!" She exclaimed, embracing him warmly. "It's wonderful to see a friendly face."

"Of course I came, child. Your greatest triumph. How could I not have come? You did it, Nodame. You faced the music head on and see now where it has taken you."

"Well, you were right, Milch… the music rings true for those who dare to face it courageously…"

"You're certainly proof of that, my dear."

Streseman did not like how she was looking. In many ways she had not changed. But the conspicuous liveliness that made her the warm-hearted individual that she was missing and it troubled him.

"Are you alright, Nodame? You don't look too well."

"I'm just tired… you know what it's like… living out of a suitcase for weeks and months. Not to mention a grueling schedule of practice sessions, press conferences and interviews. I've just about had my fill. To be honest, I am ready to get back to a normal, mundane life."

"A normal life? People like you and I don't have normal lives."

"A girl can dream, can't she?" Nodame gave something akin to a smile.

_That's better._ Streseman noted. "I don't know anyone who has worked harder than you in the last five years."

"I do." Nodame shot him a significant look.

"Hmph…" was Streseman's disgruntled response. They both knew exactly who she was referring to.

"Has that person been in contact you?" Streseman asked.

Nodame shook her head. "I haven't seen or heard from him in five years."

"What the heck happened to the two of you? Everything was fine one minute and then the next you're living separate lives."

"I'm not sure myself, Milch… I've asked myself that question many times in the past five years."

"I don't understand that person. How could he do this to you? Discarding you like yesterday's breakfast."

"Hush.. Milch… you mustn't blame him. It could've been my fault."

"Somehow I very much doubt it." Streseman muttered. "At least he should have said something… given you reasons." Streseman was in his one of his moods… being belligerent and wonderfully supportive. But he'd always been supportive of her, of them. Nodame had never been entirely sure why. Perhaps Streseman was a closet romantic… _And then maybe not_… Still there was no doubt in her mind that his concern for her had always been genuine.

"I know."

"And yet you've held yourself together admirably all this time, Nodame. I'm really proud of you."

"Playing music has been my greatest comfort and my joy these past few years. In some ways this whole thing has compelled me to push myself even further than I thought I was capable of."

Unknown to them, the person they were discussing was sitting in the audience that night, taking care to remain anonymous. He had followed her world tour with the greatest of interest, observing that in five years she had gained an incredible mastery over her instrument and was enjoying a spate of much deserved successes. She had exceeded even his own expectations. Watching her play on this occasion brought to mind a lingering pride that he had helped her recognize her potential but an ever pervasive sadness that he would only be on the sidelines where her career was concerned. Clearly, her music would forever have a hold on him… for better or for worse.

The woman that had accompanied him was the beautiful Marian Rothwell, a cellist of some renown. She was his regular escort at such events and gossip had them pegged to be married some time down the track, in the next year or so. Like him, she belonged to a wealthy family… made up largely of musicians and doctors.

"This is the first time I've seen her perform live. What is it that she does to the piano? Or is it the piano that possesses her? It's intense without being overly aggressive, bold without being ostentatious. And she draws the audience into the piece and puts them into a trance. It's quite an experience. I can see why you're such a fan."

"I'm not exactly a fan."

"If you're not a fan, what do you call it… you have all her albums and you've been to most of her New York performances and you know exactly where she's performing next. Sounds fanatical to me." She gave him a knowing grin. "Don't worry, I'm not jealous."

"You have no reason to be." _I'm over her._

He had met Marian while starting his role as music director at the Chamber Orchestra of New York. She was attracted to his quiet self-confidence and he grew to enjoy her company. It was his first serious relationship in over five years. Nonetheless, there was something about Chiaki Shinichi that she couldn't put her finger on. She had accepted early on that he was not a man to give himself over to emotional outbursts but still she couldn't help sensing that he was holding back. Clearly there was a part of him that was closed to her… a childhood trauma perhaps? Or even a deep tragedy? Whatever it was, she was barred from making in-roads.

Her musical family took to him quickly. Conversations with the Rothwells ranged from the stimulating, to the heated but seldom uninteresting. After the madness that was the Noda family, the Rothwells were happily sane. Chiaki knew that he liked Marian well enough but was still carrying far too much baggage as far as a certain Miss Noda was concerned… a lot of unresolved anger… to dare go further. Like it or not, Nodame was a difficult act to follow… her madness, her brilliance had been both captivating and frustrating… and larger than life. It was like going an adventure of a lifetime and then returning to a sedentary life. She turned his life upside down and now, by his own choice, he had to go on without her.

Nodame didn't have that same choice. Not that she would have ever chosen to walk away from him. He was the great love of her life. Music would only go so far in filling that void but lately, the void had turned into a gaping wound. At times, she would feel a pang or two. On other occasions it would throb so unbearably that it took all her inner resources not to break down into tears. Her heart had been broken but the worse of it was she didn't know why. Bit by bit, she was being eaten up inside.

Chiaki thought more than once or twice about making his presence known at one of the concerts. He didn't know what that would achieve apart from a few awkward moments. He'd been to most of her concerts… and he'd even flown to see her take the Chopin prize. The amazing thing about Nodame was that just when one thought she had reached the heights of her prowess, she always went on to prove that she had not come to the end of her gifts. He just kept falling in love with her over and over again. But his pride wouldn't let him go back to her.

She had broken his heart all those years ago and he still didn't know why. He should have confronted her then and there but the feelings were raw and he was half expecting her to come crawling back. There was a time he did wonder if he'd fall victim to one of her outrageous demonstrations of anger but the flying kick never returned… and he often wondered why… almost wishing that it would.

No one was more astonished over Nodame's success than Nodame herself. She didn't set out to prove herself or to prove to anyone what she was capable of. In truth, she wasn't an ambitious soul, mostly she had been driven by desperate need to hide her pain. Of late, the pain was becoming more unbearable. Tiredness… loss… pining for what could have been. They were a lethal combination for a morose disposition.

Franz Streseman, underneath all his cavalier facade, was very fond of Nodame. It was, as he had said, due to the fact that he saw a little of himself in her. But he didn't want her to have the lonely life that he led… she deserved better… much better. Unfortunately she was fixated on that one person and she would never be satisfied elsewhere. He empathized fully but he knew where that particular road would lead to. He missed the vivacious and jubilant Nodame. It was unnatural to see her looking like a ghost of her former self. Heartbreaking, almost. There were times, he would catch glimpses of her former self but they were more fleeting than his dalliances. Mostly, he directed his wrath against Chiaki… that cold fish… it was definitely his fault whatever it was. That boy was always indecisive about Nodame and didn't have the decency to break it off properly when he finally made up his mind to move on without her. Streseman had not seen Chiaki in two years. His only protégé… had certainly achieved success in their field but at the end of the day, Streseman knew better than most how achingly lonely success could be without someone to share it with.

He heard that Chiaki had taken up with a cellist somewhere in New York. Sigh… When in the world did things take a turn for the worse? For the great Franz Streseman, in the cosmic scheme of things, something had gone dreadfully wrong.

* * *

Author's Note: 

Believe it or not, any resemblance to some of the new stories posted recently here is purely coincidental. This story was developed around the same time as A Roman Holiday and I started working on it while on holidays. I had considered abandoning the story initially but finally decided that the direction I was taking it was slightly different. I wrote it as a kind of antithesis to A Roman Holiday... an alternate "what if" story.

My plan is to alternate a comedic/romantic story (more like the manga) with an angsty/romantic one.


	2. Chapter 2: Pianissimo

**Chapter 2: Pianissimo**

_In breaking news, gifted pianist and former winner of the Chopin prize, Megumi Noda has announced that she'll be retiring from the music world. After five brilliant years in the spotlight and charming audiences all around the world, the Japanese born piano star is calling it quits. The 32 year old, known for her stunning interpretations of technically complex pieces, will be returning to her family home in Kyushu, Japan to enjoy some much needed rest. ANN was able to get this exclusive._

"I'm not giving up on the piano… just from public life… I am looking forward to having some quiet time alone with the family and play whatever or whenever I feel like playing."

"Why now… when many are saying that you're at the height of your career?"

"I would like to go out on top and be remembered for the good work that I have done."

"The scuttlebutt is that you would like to settle down and start a family."

"In order to start a family, it is preferable to have a partner. I am unfortunately, unhappily single."

"There's no one special?"

"No one, I'm sad to say… With my rigorous schedule and almost nomadic lifestyle, it's hard to meet anyone or maintain a relationship with anyone. I haven't even seen my family in Japan in over two years, haven't had time to breathe, much less think about dating anyone."

"So what is Megumi Noda's idea of the ideal man?"

"Someone who cooks… yeah… definitely… I am tired of eating out and on the run. I miss home cooked French cuisine most of all. I might finally have the chance to dust off those cookbooks that I've had in storage the last few years."

"Will Megumi Noda ever return to the stage?"

"It's hard to say… if the time is right… who knows? I won't say never. But for now, all I want to do is put my feet up, sleep in, snuggle under a kotatsu and pig out on hot pot meals."

* * *

Chiaki turned off the television, in a daze. He could scarcely believe what he was hearing. The rumour had been that Megumi Noda was making an important announcement but this caught him completely unawares. That he was disappointed was evident but it was mixed with more than a tinge of anger. 

_That idiot… what is she doing? She can't quit now. After all her hard work… at the height of her success… What can she be thinking?_

"A sense of humour…" His companion commented.

Her words brought Chiaki out of his stupor. "Huh?"

"I said, she has a sense of humour."

"Oh…"

"I wonder why she's retiring now though… she's still so young and still so good. Incredibly good. One might even say that she had many more years left to give."

"Who knows?" _A good question. That hentai_…

"I wonder if she was lying about not having a man in her life…" Marian wondered thoughtfully.

_Would Nodame lie about something like that… not as far as I know… Wonder what became Francois? But Nodame has always been rather impulsive though. I wonder why she's really quitting?_

"Why, what are you thinking?" Chiaki looked at her quizzically.

"I don't know… a young, attractive woman, without suitors… I find that hard to believe."

"She's been working hard…"

"I suppose… she looks very driven. Perhaps she's a perfectionist… looking for the perfect man."

_Driven? Obsessive would be a better word._

"There's something very fragile about her… she looked like she was on the edge during that entire interview."

"Yeah…" _More than usual._

"I am curious though…"

"What about?"

"A petite, inscrutable facade… playing with such fiery angst… I wonder where it all comes from?"

Chiaki remained silent. It was something he dared not speculate too much about.

* * *

Franz Streseman was much more forthcoming. His disappointment showed plainly in his voice. 

"Why Nodame? You didn't mention anything about retiring before."

"I'm so tired Milch… I don't feel like I can do it anymore…"

"What's the matter, dear girl?" Streseman asked anxiously, noting the disturbing ague that Nodame was exhibiting.

"I miss him, Milch… I've tried so hard to forget…" She lowered her face and stifled a sob.

"Oh you poor silly girl…" He drew closer to her and put his arms around her.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this... It wasn't what we had planned..."

* * *

_You can't retire… Nodame… you can't… I can't imagine not hearing you play ever again._

Marian had left for the evening and Chiaki slumped over his large, mahogany desk in quiet despair. He looked over his collection of Nodame's albums and gradually traced fingers over them.

_You're not just going to leave me with these, are you?_

As if remembering something, Chiaki took out a bunch of keys from his trouser pocket and sifted through them. Finding the smallest key, he reached down to the bottom drawer and unlocked it. Dragging it open, he pulled out a long, rectangular spiral bound notebook with a non-descript dark cover. Over the last five years, Chiaki had gradually filled it with newspaper clippings and used tickets. Flipping through its pages, he smiled sadly, his mind full of fond remembrances.

_You can't retire… Noda Megumi… there are still too many pages left to fill. _

_I'm not ready to let go… Your music.. still haunts me… Night after night, watching you on stage… I can't help but keep coming back for more. _

_Every time I'm on the stage, I search for your face in the crowd, hoping against hope to see you there._

_Will I ever be over you?_

Opening the drawer further, Chiaki pulled out a small, navy blue velvet box with a gold trim and placed it on the surface of the desk. Transported to the past, he stared at it for the longest time...

* * *

"Congratulations on your British debut, Shinichi. The London Philharmonic, no less." 

"You didn't need to ring, Mum… an email would have done."

"Of course I had to. How are things between you and Nodame?"

"Alright… I suppose…"

"Just alright?"

There was a long pause.

"Mum…"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to broach that subject with her…" _About getting married, that is._

Luckily for him, his mother had an uncanny ability to read his mind. "Good… I'm glad…" _It's about time too. _"How long have you been together now?"

"Almost five years." Another long pause.

"You've certainly kept her waiting…"

"You don't have to live with her, Mum… She's quite mad, you know." Chiaki protested.

"Mad but brilliant… that's why you're in love with her. You are in love with her, aren't you?"

"I… suppose… I have to be, don't I? To marry such a _hentai_." Chiaki was accustomed to using sarcasm to deflect his true feelings.

"Shinichi, you need to be sure about this…" His mother cautioned.

"I'm sure… now… Like you said, I've had time to think about it. Besides… I've already bought the ring."

"Good. I'm relieved to hear that." _Finally._ "How long have you had it?" She demanded.

"For almost two years now. It's something she's had her eye on for a while. She kept sneaking off in the middle of shopping to look at the jeweller's window. I bought it to put her out of her misery. But of course, she doesn't know. She cried bitterly when she found that it had been taken." Chiaki chuckled quietly.

"It'll be a nice surprise."

"I hope so. I'm going to go home a day early to get things organized. Don't worry about us, Mum. We'll be fine."

"I know. Treasure her, won't you, Shinichi?"

"I will… I do…"

_I can't imagine life without her._

* * *

_Nodame… This wasn't part of the plan. You and I living separate lives…You conquered the world without me… Lived the last five years without me beside you. Damn… how could you? And now you think you can just disappear from the world without a trace! I won't let you… _

Chiaki slammed the desktop with his tightened fist. Five years of pent up anger and frustration finally found some release. Then he remembered that he had lost the right to any say in her life, all those years ago when he walked away.

_It was all your fault… why weren't you content with what we had… Why did you have to…_

There were still many unanswered questions from five years ago churning inside his mind. Not having the answers, he could not grieve and move on… he didn't know how to… But one thought persisted all throughout…

_A world without the music of Noda Megumi… is a thought too horrible to contemplate._

* * *

"How long have you known?" 

"A few months…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"There's nothing to tell…"

"My dear Nodame… "

"It's alright, Milch… I am prepared for anything."

* * *

Author's Note:

I noticed from some of the comments that I've received that I'm having a little bit of revolt on my hands. :D Without giving too much away, I would like to refer you to my author's note for Cat's in the Cradle or for the final chapter of A Roman Holiday. Be assured that I am unlikely to ever move away from that general way of thinking, so I ask my dear readers to bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3: Crescendo

**Chapter 3: Crescendo**

"Miss Noda?"

Nodame was wandering around Tiffany's, and was so taken with the latest in fine jewellery on display that she did not hear herself being addressed at first. When the voice finally penetrated her thoughts, she slipped into celebrity mode . After all her time in the spotlight, she had largely become accustomed to being accosted by fans in even the most unlikely places. Although, of course, there was always the fear that some would transgress the bounds of good manners. She looked up and saw that the woman who had spoken was a well-groomed, elegant brunette who appeared vaguely familiar.

"Miss Megumi Noda?"

"Yes?" Nodame responded reluctantly, hoping that the woman in front of her wasn't some kind of psychotic stalker.

"I thought it might be you. My name is Marian Rothwell. I attended your final concert the previous evening. Can I say… that it was an amazing experience?"

"It's very kind of you to say that." Nodame breathed an inward sigh of relief. The woman seemed normal enough.

"It was my first time seeing you play live. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has been a fan from the beginning. He's going to be quite envious that I've met you in person. He attended all your New York performances."

"Really?"

Marian nodded enthusiastically. "I can see why now that I've heard you play. I'm very sorry to hear that you're retiring from performing publicly. I hope you return to the stage one day."

"Perhaps… who knows…" Nodame offered a smile. "Do I know you from somewhere Miss Rothwell? You look familiar."

"I don't think so, I would definitely remember."

"Are you a musician?"

"I've played the cello with several orchestras around the country."

"That could be it."

"But I'm not that famous…" Marian grinned. "At least not in your league."

"You flatter me… I'm just a girl who loves the piano and I'm lucky that it returns my affections."

"I doubt that luck has much to do with it, Miss Noda." Marian replied. "Anyway, how long are you going to be in New York for?"

"Just for another day or two and it's back to Japan." _At last._

"Are you free this evening? I'm giving a party… it's for my father… He hates parties but he loves his music… and I'm having some friends over. I would love for you to come and join us. My family and friends would delighted to meet you… and my boyfriend would be over the moon."

"I don't know…" Nodame hesitated.

"Don't worry… we're only a little crazy… Here's my card… ring me if you change your mind. We bark a lot and bite very little. And don't worry, you won't have to perform."

Saying those words, Marian flashed an eager smile and walked quietly away.

Nodame looked on thoughtfully. _She seems safe enough and her family sounds intriguing. Must get Pat to check up on her though… I'm not that eager to get myself killed._

* * *

"You're offering me the position of principal conductor with the orchestra?" Chiaki exclaimed incredulously. 

The bald, bespectacled man he was talking to nodded his head. "You've been on our shortlist for a little while now."

"What about Nicholas Stanton?"

"Nick's retiring from the position in six months and we thought you might be available. Are you interested?"

"Am I interested?" Chiaki echoed. "Only a fool wouldn't be. Principal conductor of one of the world's leading orchestras… But why me?"

"Why not? You have a reputation for excellence although you're relatively young in this game. We need some fresh blood and the board thinks you're just the person to give the orchestra a facelift. Your time with the Chamber Orchestra has not gone unnoticed."

Chiaki gave a low whistle. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine being courted by the New York Philharmonic. Certainly not at this point in his career. It was gratifying to know that all his hard work over the past few years had paid off. What a dividend! The New York Philharmonic! He was struck dumb for some moments.

"So what do you think?" The secretary of the NYP board probed.

"I think… I'm not sure if I quite believe it. But I'm flattered to be even considered."

"Believe it… and it would be our pleasure to have you onboard."

"I can't possibly say 'no', can I? It's the opportunity of a lifetime."

"I'm glad that you see it that way. Can I take it that the answer's 'yes'?"

Chiaki nodded and the secretary grabbed his hand jubilantly.

"Wonderful! I'll give the others the good news."

Chiaki hesitated before saying, "Mr Braun, would it be alright if we just kept this between ourselves for the time being? I would like to be the one to inform the Chamber Orchestra rather than for them to hear it from an outsider. I owe them that much."

"I understand."

"Thank you. You don't know how much I appreciate that."

"Don't take too long… the press will get wind of it, sooner rather than later."

* * *

"The Rothwells are a well-to-do musical family. The head of the family is Daniel Rothwell, director of oncology at the University hospital. He is a widower, wife died several years ago. While studying for his medical degree he played first violin for the New York State orchestra. He has four children and a couple of grandchildren. The Rothwell you came across is Marian Rothwell, his third child and only daughter. She, as you know, plays the cello and the youngest, Robert, plays the oboe at the Chamber Orchestra. The first two sons David and Jonathan are also doctors… blah… blah… blah… you can guess the rest. Stinking rich and disgustingly clever." 

"They sound like an interesting family. So it's safe to go to the soiree then?… " Nodame queried.

"There is always the danger that they may put pressure on you to play something but other than that, there's no criminal record to speak of…" Her manager grinned mischievously.

"Milch says that I need to get out more and have a bit of fun… and so I shall." Nodame declared. "Ring Miss Rothwell and let her know that it will be my pleasure to accept her invitation."

* * *

Chiaki wandered aimlessly around the city as he tried to process all that had just occurred. He was going to be principal conductor of The New York Philharmonic – the oldest orchestra in the United States and the most prolific. He shook his head in disbelief that the offer had been made. Mahler, Toscanini, Bernstein, Mehta… a glittering roll call… were all past music directors of the orchestra. Chiaki sobered when he realized the ramifications of such an offer. It had been her dream… and it became their dream… He picked up his cell phone instinctively to call Nodame to give her the good news but remembered in time that there was no Nodame… she was no longer a part of his life. She hadn't been for several years now. Nodame would have been ecstatic… it had been one of her greatest wish… their dream for her to play _Rhapsody in Blue_ with The New York Philharmonic with him conducting. On thinking about Nodame, he couldn't help but be overwhelmed by a hollow feeling. It wouldn't be the same without her. Her words from years gone by rang loudly in his ears. 

_Someday I may follow in yours and Milch's footsteps and perform with an orchestra onstage. One day I might even be able to perform a concerto with you. Chiaki senpai will be the conductor and Nodame will play the piano performing with the Philadelphia Orchestra. That performance will be wildly successful and requests for us to perform will pour in from all over the world. Performing _Rhapsody in Blue_ with the New York Philharmonic would also be wonderful._

What had he said to her then? _You can say all that when you pass your exam._

He had been so glad… that she had changed her mind about playing seriously… it had been her choice… it was something that she finally wanted for herself.

She had passed many exams since… competitions, recitals and salons… and still they had not performed together. They were unlikely to do so now as she was retiring from performing publicly.

There was so much to regret about. Could he have handled the situation differently five years ago? In hindsight, he knew he could have. He had been so angry at the time… he could only think of how his parents ended up and reacted instantly. He never gave her a chance to explain and now whatever dreams that they had shared, he had to fulfill alone.

It was too late for regrets. Chiaki had thought it best to move on. Despite the cloud that was hanging over his head, it was still wonderful news and he was bursting to tell someone. After deliberating for some moments, he rang Marian.

"Marian… it's me…"

"Shinichi! I'm glad you rang… I was just about to ring you. You wouldn't believe what happened today... who I bumped into."

"I've got exciting news too… I had a meeting with Arthur Braun, secretary of the New York Phil today. They've offered me a position as principal conductor, starting next season."

" Congratulations! That's fantastic… I'm so proud."

"But you'll have to keep it under wraps for a while."

"No problems…"

"So who did you see?" Chiaki asked remembering what she had said.

"Hmm… I'm not telling… It'll be my surprise… A present if you like. Just get to the party and all will be revealed."

"You're being mysterious… and you know how much I hate surprises…"

"Ah, but this is a good surprise."

"Should I be worried?"

"Just show up, Shin… I'll see you there."

_I wonder what she's up to._

* * *

The Rothwell residence was located close to the University hospital. By the time Nodame got there, the place was literally filling up with all kinds of characters. 

"I'm so glad you could make it, Miss Noda. I know it's getting a little crowded in here but my father is a popular man and there are quite a few hangers-on, unfortunately. Can I get you a drink?"

"Just mineral water, thank you."

"Make yourself at home, won't you? It seems like everyone else is anyway." Marian remarked in mock frustration.

"I will, don't worry about me." She reassured her host.

Nodame gazed around the enormous living area and espied the grand piano at the corner of the room. However, what attracted her attention on this occasion were the family photos that graced the top of it. She moved towards them and gave each one her undivided consideration. The pictures evidently charted the family history of three generations… births, graduations, marriages and other important events. One in particular, took the wind out of her sails. She staggered out onto the balcony to catch her breath. So Marian Rothwell was the woman he was dating… No wonder she had looked so familiar. Only then did Nodame recollect several new articles which had photos of the lovely Miss Rothwell standing next to him.

There was a part of her that revolted. It had been a mistake to come here. No doubt he would be here too. She was saddened by the thought that he had moved on… all too readily, while she was still pining after him.

"Miss Noda… I'm sorry this took so long." A young man in his mid twenties handed her a glass bottle.

"No, not all… your timing is perfect. It's just what I need."

"I'm Rob Rothwell, by the way. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you look so much younger in person. And prettier too." He looked a little embarrassed.

"Thank you… I consider it a compliment, Mr Rothwell."

"I can't believe you're here… standing on our balcony… the winner of the Chopin prize. It's unreal."

"Your sister was kind enough to invite me."

"I'm a big fan of yours… but probably nobody's a bigger fan than my sister's boyfriend… Chiaki…"

_Is he now?_

"He's a conductor. You'll get to meet him soon enough though. He should've been here already."

"Probably heard I was coming." Nodame remarked wryly.

"Nah… he doesn't know you're here. Marian wanted it to be a surprise. Besides, he'd be very pleased to see you. Although he'd probably pretend he isn't. He's as cool as a cucumber."

At that moment, an attractive young woman lunged toward them and dragged Rob away.

"I'm sorry, Miss Noda… duty calls… It was great meeting you."

_After five years… I'm finally going to see senpai… and now that I'm so close, I don't know if I really want to._

* * *

"Who did you say was here?" 

"Miss Noda… Megumi Noda… you know… your favourite pianist, winner of the Chopin prize and gold medalist of the Tilburn award etc etc."

"She's here?"

"On our balcony… or at least she was a few minutes ago. C'mon, let me introduce you."

_Nodame is here?_ Chiaki surveyed the room and scrutinized the balcony from his vantage point. "I don't see her."

"She must have gone to the bathroom. Don't sound so eager…"

"I'm not…"

"Why are you so nervous?… She doesn't bite you know…"

_Yes, she does… and she has a terrifying flying kick._ "Are you sure she wants to meet me?"

"Why wouldn't she? Anyway, you're a fellow countryman, I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about."

* * *

The tears were falling fast while she ran down the darkened corridor. 

_I can't see him… not like this… not now…_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_myzee: I'm glad that you're silent reader no longer. You've planted a seed in my mind which may bring forth fruit… I'm also extremely fond of Kuroki… it could work… _

_Angleico3156789__: LOL… I love angst and a little emotional whumping but I'm not that melodramatic…_


	4. Chapter 4: Mezzo Forte

**Chapter 4: Mezzo Forte  
**

The door was unlocked and it seemed to call out to her. She turned the knob fully and let herself in.

_I can't face him. Not just yet. I need to gather my thoughts, pull myself together._

The room was dark but the moonlight had cast its shimmering beams through the windows to spotlight the Steinway which was standing like a dignified potentate in the centre of his court surrounded by its minions of furniture, and well-worn books. Nodame surmised that it was the centre of family life in this household… where music and learning were encouraged and celebrated. She understood then why senpai spent a lot of time here… with these people and with the vivacious Miss Rothwell.

She ambled toward the piano and allowed her fingers to glide over its sleek, black surface before settling herself on the chair. Someone had left the lid open… Her nimble fingers trilled over the keys in a simple scale… like a child dipping her toes into the water.

Not content with merely dipping or wading, Nodame plunged into the water with _Les Jeux D'eau A La Villa D'Este_. This was a piece in which music and nature communed and in Nodame's hands the union was subliminal. The way she played reminded the listener that water was not merely a metaphor for the beauty of nature but a gentle force to be reckoned with.

Liszt had been inspired by the Villa d'Este situated outside Rome during his stay there at the invitation of the Cardinal Gustav von Hohenlohe. Later, it became the inspiration for Maurice Ravel's _Jeux D'eau._

Every note reverberated through the room and Nodame let herself be swept by their power. She imagined herself spirited away to a place of unimaginable beauty, drenched by the fountains and rivers that dominated its landscape. The magician had cast a spell over herself. She could feel the drops of water trickle down her skin

Sadly, the magic had to come to an end. There was no guarantee that the player would be immune from the harsh realities of life. The magic brought relief but not the cure.

From out of nowhere, there came a burst of applause… a single burst of applause. Unknown to Nodame, the room had not been unoccupied but had harboured another seeking refuge also.

"That was an impressive interpretation of Liszt." Spoke a voice from the dark.

It was male… older… but Nodame could scarcely make out the shape.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know anyone was about." Nodame apologized to the mystery voice.

"It's probably just as well… otherwise I doubt I would have been treated to that superb display of control and form."

"I was just tinkering around…"

"By all means, tinker away… But if that's what you call tinkering, I would love to hear you really play. You must be Miss Megumi Noda. Chopin prize winner… I can see why. Hmm… Marian and Rob have been singing your praises."

"Really? They are too kind. I hope they didn't exaggerate my abilities too much."

"Rob might but Marian seldom exaggerates. After hearing that, I don't think anyone can be accused of exaggerating when they say that you're one of the best of your generation." The voice had got up from where he was sitting and made his way into the moonlight. "I'm Dan Rothwell, by the way." He offered his hand and Nodame took it.

"I'm pleased to know you, Dr Rothwell."

"Only my patients call me "doctor" and we're not in the hospital anyway. Just call me Dan."

"Then please return me the favour and call me Nodame."

"Nodame… I like that… So, Nodame, what were you hiding from?"

"Huh?" _Does he know something… ?_

"You came in here, playing in the dark. You must've been hiding from something."

"I was just tired and wanted to get away from the noise. Force of habit perhaps… I see a piano and I feel compelled to play it. Can't resist it." _Good… he's just making conversation. _

"I believe you. I, too, find the lure of playing music irresistible.and know exactly what you mean."

"So what were you hiding from, Dan?" Nodame quizzed.

"I hate parties but I'm retiring from the hospital next month and Marian insists on inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry we know. I'll make an appearance later but now I just want to be left alone."

"I should apologize for intruding then…"

"You weren't intruding… more like a happy distraction…"

"I'm glad…"

"Well, go on… distract me some more… play something else…"

* * *

"She was here… I gave her a drink and we chatted a little." Rob Rothwell declared unequivocally and looked around the balcony mystified. 

"She must've heard that I was coming and took off." Chiaki ventured.

"I don't think so… she doesn't know you, does she? Anyway, you're nobody special right… why should she care.?"

_Good point. Why should she care? I'm nobody special… At least not any more. Unless...  
_

"Anyway, she's probably still somewhere in the house. Most likely doing some downtime in the ladies room."

"Where's the man of the hour?"

"Probably in the music room… hiding… as usual."

"I'll go and join him."

* * *

As Nodame gradually discovered, Rothwell was not satisfied to merely listen, he was eager to converse also. She picked him to be in his late 60s but there was little at fault with his powers of observation. 

"It's hard to imagine that you of all people just played that. To be honest, you are not at all what I expected. A gentle soul like you unleashing so much angst."

"Frankly speaking, I've never thought about it. But I would hate to leave you with the wrong impression.. I'm no gentle soul. Someone once said that I play like a woman possessed."

"You interest me, Nodame… the thing is… I can see that you are capable of great happiness but you've been terribly scarred… But I can't imagine anyone deliberately wanting to hurt you."

Chiaki was on the verge of entering the room and became privy to some of the conversation.

_Who's Dan talking to?_ He wondered only for a brief moment._ That voice… I would know it anywhere…_

* * *

"What does your doctor senses tell you?" Nodame smiled weakly. 

"It's a man right? It's almost always a man… You're young and attractive… and still single… That tells me a lot. Some man has hurt you and you can't get over him."

"You're a dangerous man, Dan… soon you'll have all my secrets laid bare to the whole world. You're not in the pay of some tabloid, are you?"

"So I'm right… it's a man…"

Nodame hesitated before saying "To that extent… but he hasn't hurt me as much as left me wondering what it is I did wrong to cause him to leave me without so much as an explanation. Because of that I feel trapped in the past. I can't move on… I'm in a wasteland of questions."

Nodame sighed and then continued. "I've tried very hard over the last few years… but I don't think I can ever get over him. Anyway, it wouldn't be fair for me to be involved in a relationship with some other man while carrying around all this baggage." _He is the great love of my life. The only thing that I care more about than music._

Rothwell shot Nodame a compassionate look. "I'm right about you though… you are a gentle soul… I can't imagine you doing anything terrible to anyone. Take it from a doctor, all this angst is great for your piano but lousy for your health."

"Don't I know it." came the cryptic response.

* * *

Chiaki was astounded._ What is she talking about? I thought she wanted out… She's talking like she's the victim here…_

* * *

"Tell me about it…" 

"What can I say… I was a child when I fell in love…21… not a care in the world. My ambitions were simple but I was happy. But meeting him changed me… I wanted to better myself for him. Even then I knew I wasn't good enough for him … I've always felt that but I never wanted anything more my whole life than to be with him. I feel like I've spent half my life waiting for him… and yet I'd spend my whole life waiting for him if I only knew why. But now it's too late…"

"A third party…" Rothwell speculated.

Nodame nodded. "And the fact that… life is too short… far too short…"

"You're too young to talk like that."

"Much too young. It's unfair."

* * *

_Nodame… I didn't know how you felt… even after all that time…_

Chiaki was experiencing a whole gamut of emotions… from the throes of guilt to profound sorrow.

_Why are you talking like this… so much despair…? What's happened to you?_

* * *

"Well, it's my turn to distract you… Goodness knows, you need it. Oh, alright… we can distract each other… Know any good violin sonatas?" 

"A few."

"Name one."

Immediately Elgar's violin sonata in E minor sprang to mind. "Elgar's…"

Rothwell nodded and walked to a large cupboard and took out a violin case. Pulling out the instrument from its case, he pointed the bow in her direction and said, "Go ahead… Nodame."

"It's been a while… not sure if I remember it."

"You'll be fine."

Accompanying Rothwell on the piano brought back fond memories. She had learnt this piece at the Miyoshi residence, playing it for the first time with senpai. They had been students at the time. Senpai had not overcome his fear of flying then. Her playing had been pretty rough but senpai knew all her habits, knew exactly how to adjust to the way she played. Rothwell was good… extremely good. So good that it unnerved her slightly. Neither, however, noticed the young conductor standing at the doorwaywho was their only audience.

Chiaki stood at the door spellbound. A tear rolled down his face. It had been one of his grandfather's favourites. _She remembered…_

It reminded him of a younger, more undisciplined Nodame who was struggling to gain acceptance in his world. Little by little… she made in-roads… her unorthodox brilliance gradually took hold of him. Now that she was at the peak of her prowess she wanted to walk away and he couldn't understand why.

He hadn't been this close to her for five years and the old magic was still there. The indefinable thing that brought and held them together was alive and well. Despite his bitterness… he knew he missed her… more than he cared to admit.

Chiaki sank to the floor and sat at the entrance, soothed and troubled by the music._Damn that _hentai,_ will she never leave me alone! _A voice inside him gently nudged him to the truth that he was still clinging on to vestiges of the past, and that he was no unwilling onlooker. Overwhelmed by what he'd been hearing, Chiaki buried his face in his knees.

* * *

"That was fun… Nodame…" 

"I had fun too, Dan. Surprisingly refreshed."

"The next time you're in the neighbourhood, you should drop by. It's not everyday I get to make music with a world class pianist."

"And it's not everyday I get to accompany a doctor on the piano."

"I wish Anna were here… she would've liked you… You know, I took her to the Villa d'Este on our second honeymoon. It's a masterpiece in Italian architecture."

"Sounds wonderful." Nodame deduced that Anna was his late wife.

"It was… I miss her…" Rothwell's voice was filled with emotion. "Anyway, I'd better go and meet my guests. Coming with me?" He offered her his arm.

"Definitely." She slid her arm into his and felt greatly comforted by its warmth.

* * *

Chiaki didn't know that he wanted to see Nodame just yet. He hadn't felt this disquieted since he flew to Hokkaido 11 years earlier. He wasn't ready… He wasn't sure if he had sufficient mastery over himself yet to face her. 

He got up and silently made his way back to the party, like a man sleepwalking. He was met by Marian on his way out. She'd just been mingling with guests and busying herself in the kitchen.

"Shinichi, there you are…. I've been looking for you… where have you been…"

"Nowhere in particular."

* * *

Nodame passed the rest of her time at the party rather uneventfully… Only once or twice she wondered where Senpai had gone to. While a part of her was grateful for the little mercies that abounded that night, there was a part of her that desperately wanted to see him, to demand an explanation for the way things ended between them. But she did not dwell on it. Nor was there a chance. She was inundated with well-wishers and music lovers who were all only too anxious to express their dismay at her retirement. An elderly gentleman managed to buttonhole her for almost an hour, pontificating about the lack of vision in the classical music industry. 

When he had found himself another willing victim, Nodame saw an opportunity to escape his clutches and took off to the balcony. It was a lovely evening and the cool air rested on her face and hair. Exactly what the doctor ordered. _Just one more day and I'll be on my way home._

Nodame felt more relaxed than she had for months. Talking things over with Dan Rothwell helped somewhat. She gazed dreamily at the stars and started to count them. After reaching fifty, she decided that she had enough and that it was time for her leave.

"Some things never change…" A familiar voice broke into her reverie.

She turned to look at who was speaking to her and managed to stifle a gasp. "Chiaki senpai…"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_Muwhahahaha… just when you thought… Yeah, I'm evil. :D  
_

_I must say that I'm really surprised at how well-received that last chapter was. Thank you all for all your interest. Let me assure you that there's a lot more to the story yet._

_I'm feeling pretty pumped right now… I've had a squiz of the First Look clip for the Paris Special… (missed so much good stuff when I went away) But what's that unflattering outfit that they've put Juri into… I dunno… it definitely doesn't do anything for me. And just when I thought Nodame was dressing better. At least she does in the manga anyway. ;-)_


	5. Chapter 5: Forte

**Chapter 5: Forte**

"Chiaki senpai…" Nodame stood breathless and motionless. A uncanny calm washed over her. Like the performer before a performance… fear turned into a serene readiness.

"Still counting stars… I see…" He commented, affecting a nonchalance he did not feel.

"They seem to be more elusive each year… they seem to be floating further away from me. Or may be it's because I'm moving further away from them. It's hard to tell. Maybe I'm just getting too old for this game." She rambled thoughtfully as her gaze returned to the night sky.

He had been observing her intently the entire evening. Nodame was still Nodame but there was something different about her. Not that she looked older… but that she was a shadow of her former self. It was a gaunt Nodame in the flesh but not in spirit. This troubled him. It compelled him to set aside his discomfiture, to seek her out… to find out what had brought about the change.

"You're looking thinner…" He changed the subject abruptly.

"I don't have a gourmet chef at my disposal."

"Don't you? Thought you'd have dozens at your beck and call."

"I was spoilt. There's only one that I'd want cooking for me but now it seems he's cooking for someone else."

"Nodame…"

"It's okay, senpai… Nodame understands and Nodame's glad for you." She spoke in familiar ways, lapsing momentarily into old habits.

"Is she really?" He responded, wondering why he felt a tinge of disappointment.

"It's good. Finally, you have some one who can look after you." She nodded. "I gave you a lot of trouble. I know I was a handful." She made an effort to grin.

"Nodame, you weren't… I … I didn't mind…" Chiaki was at a loss for words. The conversation was taking an unexpected turn.

"Although I'm really sorry that we never got to perform a concerto together… or that violin sonata I talked about years ago."

"We still could." He blurted.

Nodame shook her head. "I doubt it." There was a ring of certainty in her voice.

_Blast! What is she talking about? Why is she talking like this?_

"So you're really quitting for good?"

Nodame had a faraway look about her… as if her mind was somewhere else entirely. "Do you believe that everything happens for a reason, senpai?"

"I don't know… I suppose… I haven't given it that much thought, to be honest." Chiaki was bewildered.

"I have… and I still don't know have the answer… But it is good to believe in something, right?…"

"Is everything alright, Nodame?"

"I suppose… why shouldn't they be?"

"You're not making sense…"

"Is that so strange?" Nodame ventured and then broke into a grin. "It is so good to see you, senpai… I am so glad that we had the chance to talk. I wasn't sure at first about it but now I know. I don't know when if I'll see you again but I'm glad to be able to say goodbye. The last time we parted, I never got the chance." She turned to move off.

"You're leaving now?"

"Farewell, senpai… Nodame will never forget you."

"Nodame… don't… go yet…" _There are still so many things we have to say to each other._

She gave him a wistful smile. "You know… I wish you had been the one to conduct my last performance… Rhapsody in Blue… We would have brought the house down."

Nodame bowed and walked off briskly. The old Nodame had come and gone in the flicker of an eye. He was missing her already as she walked away from him. It was then he wondered how he survived the last five years without her close to him. Anger, perhaps. Pride, maybe. His eyes followed her around the room. He saw her thank her hosts, grab her overcoat and stride out the door. An emptiness took hold of him and questions about things she'd said stayed with him all through the night.

"So what did you two talk about?" Marian went to where he was, bursting with curiosity.

"Nothing much… about stars, cooking and things happening for a reason… And then she said good bye." Chiaki muttered distractedly.

* * *

She was desperate to get away quickly. The face of composure she had shown earlier quickly turned into one of agony. _No… not yet… not now._ The abdominal pains were getting worse… She had to get to a taxi quickly. Nodame staggered around, her arms reaching for something to hold on to, before finally succumbing. She collapsed in front of a nearby newspaper stand. Concerned bystanders gathered around her. 

"Are you alright miss?" The newspaper vendor looked over her anxiously.

"I… need… a doctor…" She gasped.

"Don't worry miss… somebody's calling an ambulance."

She was barely audible "The… University… Hospital… please."

* * *

Chiaki was sitting with the Rothwells when the telephone rang. He was lost in thoughts he dared not share. These people were the closest thing to a family that he had at that moment but there were things in his past he had chosen not to tell them. Things that he himself were still unsure of. Nodame had always been strange… bordering on madness at times but this was different. It was as if she had become distant… out of reach. It baffled him that she could be so calm while he was groping for the right words. As he mulled over these things in the privacy of his own mind, the others were preoccupied with making observations about the party, the guests and the inscrutable Miss Noda also came up during the course of the conversation. 

Dan Rothwell, however, kept his eye on Chiaki in the midst of all this desultory chatter. Unknown to Chiaki and Nodame, Rothwell had been watching them closely from the other side of the room while apparently hobnobbing with his guests. Very quickly, he sensed a connection between the two. _These two are not strangers to one another. And it isn't just about music either._

The phone demanded attention and Rob Rothwell was elected to get the call. He feigned a pathetic look and returned with a grave look on his face.

"Dad, it's the hospital… they want you to go in ASAP."

"No rest for the wicked. Can you please remind them that it's my night off?"

"It's Miss Noda… she asked specifically for you and only you."

"How is she?" Rothwell immediately became alert.

"They didn't say…"

"Tell them I'll be there soon."

"You don't seem surprised, Dad." Marian noted.

"No… I guess I'm not…" Her father acknowledged. But his gaze was fixed on Chiaki whose face had registered a look of horror and had turned cadaverous. "Are you alright, Chiaki?"

"Sure… just surprised." Chiaki managed to quell any strong emotions that were surging. "She seemed all right before."

"Did she? You both seemed very engrossed in conversation."

"Were we? We were just talking about food and music"

"Is that all? I thought it had something to do with life and death." Rothwell said before picking up his hat and coat.

"Dan…" Chiaki began to say as Rothwell took steps out of the door.

"Yeah?"

"Please keep me in the loop…"

Rothwell looked at him thoughtfully before nodding and soon disappeared from Chiaki's line of sight.

* * *

Rothwell was full of sympathy for the young woman who had come to him for help but he was mystified still as to the reason why she hadn't been receiving any treatment for her condition. She was in the early stages of the condition and her chances of survival were extremely high. He strolled into her room, armed with questions and doctorly advice. His patient, sufficiently drugged up was lucid and looked ready to provide explanations. 

"So what can I do for you, Miss Noda?"

"It's Nodame, remember?"

"You're full of surprises, Nodame."

"I don't think you're surprised at all, Dan. You knew, didn't you?"

"I suspected… 35 years in this business… After a while, one knows the signs… My own wife… " Rothwell wavered and then continued. "But you're an amazing, young woman… to hold it together for so long without people guessing. To keep a brave face in front of Chiaki… I've got to hand it to you."

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

"Ah… so I'm right… you have a history…"

"A history…" Nodame murmured. "I suppose you can call it that. But you didn't tell him did you?"

"Your mystery man perhaps?"

Nodame did not answer. But she did not have to. Rothwell was no fool.

"No, I didn't tell him. But it won't be too long before he and everyone else finds out. You had quite a dramatic collapse."

"I was hoping to put it off for as long as I could. But seeing senpai so suddenly…"

"I should have realized it… you are both musicians…"

"It was a long time ago, Dan…"

"Obviously not that long ago… I saw the way you both looked at each other…"

Nodame shook her head. "It is as you've said… history…" There was an air of resignation.

"We can help you, Nodame… people have successfully overcome this."

"My doctors in Europe and Japan have said the same. But no… no more radiation therapy and no chemotherapy."

"There are alternative measures…new drugs. You're still young… you can beat this thing…"

"Perhaps… but I don't want to… I just want to go home… be with my family."

"This is crazy, Nodame… why did you ask for me then?"

"Because I wanted to see a friendly face… I'm sick of being poked and prodded by strangers. And I'm sick of being told that I'm mad for not trying."

"You are mad for not trying…" He looked at her with a straight face.

"I know…" Nodame gave a tremulous giggle.

"But I think I understand why…"

* * *

Chiaki remained for some time at the Rothwell home wondering if Dan Rothwell was going update them that evening. After a while he gave up waiting and indicated that he was going home. 

"I should go now… I'm really tired. It's been an interesting day." _To say the least._

"Why don't you stay the night?" Marian suggested.

Chiaki excused himself as well as he could. "I don't think so… tomorrow's a big day plus I have to write the dreaded letter of resignation."

"Yeah I suppose… But Shinichi… I'm sure it's nothing serious…"

"Huh?"

"Miss Noda… I'm sure she'll be fine."

"I'm sure you're right." Chiaki responded cautiously wondering if he had given too much of himself away. Something that Rothwell had said made him speculate.

Once he was on his own, Chiaki didn't feel quite as sure. _What has that idiot done to herself now? Probably been pushing herself too hard during the world tour. Not having proper meals obviously._ He tried vainly to brush it off as the result of one of her obsessive mood swings but a persistent hunch told him that it was much more serious than that.

* * *

Dan Rothwell was sitting in his office deep in thought. Noticing his light still on, his colleague, Dr Steve Maynard knocked before walking in. 

"You're still here, Dan?"

"Yeah, Steve…"

"What are you going to do about the Noda case?"

"What can I do? Patient has rejected treatment for follicular B cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma… Insists on undertaking long distance travel in the next two days against all medical advice."

"But you're still here…"

"I have an idea… but it's going to make me very unpopular with a lot of people."

"Hasn't stopped you before, has it?"

"This is slightly different… it hits a lot closer to home…"

"Whatever it is, I know you'll do the right thing…"

"I don't know if it's the right thing but I'm fighting for her life even if she doesn't want to…"

"I know. I'll see you next week…"

"See you."

_I'm retiring anyway… and Marian will probably hate me for this. But there aren't too many good pianists around. And damnit… that girl's too good and too young to be allowed to languish away like that._

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

_Okay… so I'm a little melodramatic… melodramatic and evil. But I did promise that this story will depress..._

_The point that Nodame is somewhat out of character is a valid one and something I'm quite conscious of… Because of the nature of this story, I've had to fudge around with her character a little… and to my mind, the story takes slight precedence over characterization. In my defence, I believe that the changes are warranted as I'm trying to construct an older, more world weary (as someone has already observed) Nodame who has had to live without her beloved senpai for over five years, with recent knowledge that she has a form of blood cancer. If she isn't the perky lass that we've come to know and love, I've tried to offer some plausible reasons as to why that is the case. Well, at least they're plausible to me. :D_


	6. Chapter 6: Fortissimo

**Chapter 6: Fortissimo**

Marian Rothwell used the key that Chiaki gave her to get into his apartment. She hadn't had to use it previously as she'd never had trouble tracking him down before. But it was 10 am and he had failed to show up for rehearsal. Neither was he answering his landline or cell phones. She was obviously concerned at this lapse, coupled with his rather strange behaviour the previous evening. His bedroom looked mostly untouched except for the crumple on the bed sheet of where he had tossed and turned. The rest of the apartment, however, told a different story.

His apartment was usually clutter free but overnight, Chiaki seemed to have gone on a reading frenzy… newspapers, magazines, music journals were strewn all over the living room and kitchen. Most contained articles about the indomitable Miss Megumi Noda and it appeared that Chiaki had been assiduously collecting reading material about the talented pianist going back 5 years. Marian had always believed Chiaki to be a fan despite his protestations to the contrary. What she saw, however, was beyond anything she had imagined… No doubt he was a man of strong hidden passions. but his connection with Miss Noda was immensely curious.

The trail of periodicals led to the desk in his study… and the item that caught her eye was a black, bulky, spiral bound album. Penciled faintly on the bottom right hand corner of the plain cover was the word 'Nodame'. Her curiosity got the better of her, leading her to look under the cover. What she saw first brought a smile to her face and what she saw later brought tears to her eyes. The first several pages were the most intimate… Photos of a younger Megumi Noda in silly poses… carefree and in love with life… There were also a series of pictures of her at the piano making faces and pursing her lips. However, the one that disturbed her equanimity was the one of Megumi Noda and Chiaki at the piano, with the exuberant Miss Noda nestled against him.

_Shinichi… why didn't you tell me?_

* * *

Chiaki had not slept… could not sleep… and took to the chilly streets instead. Armed with only his overcoat, he walked for some time in the wee hours of the night wondering what was going on with Nodame and if she was alright. In the end, all that maddening talk did have a method to it. A call that came two hours later put him out of his misery. It was Dan Rothwell, saying that he had something pertaining to "a matter of life and death" to discuss with him. Chiaki thought it significant that he had used that expression again in a short space of time and assumed that Rothwell wanted to talk about Nodame. _Does he know about us?_ As he asked himself that question, he realized that it didn't matter… Only Nodame mattered… she had always mattered… Even when he felt betrayed. It was because she mattered that he felt the betrayal more acutely.

* * *

The scrapbook chronicling Nodame's career, had been lovingly and painstakingly put together. Newspaper, magazine cuttings were laid out neatly. For Marian it told the story of two people together and then of two people living separate lives but held together by a unique and lasting bond. He kept the ticket of every single performance he attended was proof that he had been there and yet… for some reason he kept his distance. Chiaki was no ordinary fan. It was a love story gone awry. When the truth dawned on Marian… that this was not a love easily forgotten... or cast aside, she became envious… Not so much because she felt misused… she was far too worldly for that but because she never before believed that such things as soul mates really existed.

Marian closed the scrapbook and held onto it as if her life depended on it. The tears trickled down her lovely face… _I wonder what happened_.

* * *

At about 2 am both men were sitting in Rothwell's office. They stared at one another some moments while trying to decide what they should say. In the end it was Rothwell that broke the impasse.

"Listen, Shinichi, what I'm going to tell you here is a breach of doctor- patient confidentiality." Rothwell's voice contained a sense of urgency.

"Is she going to be alright?" Chiaki asked anxiously.

"Well, that depends…"

"On what?"

"On you…"

"On me… why me?"

Rothwell waited a while before continuing.

"Shinichi… what does 'senpai' mean?"

_So he knows… she's told him_. "It's a term of respect given to an elder, senior or mentor." Chiaki held back before saying, "She's told you, hasn't she?"

"Some… but I filled in some of the gaps myself. There are other gaps that I'd like filled in too. Funny, I thought that 'senpai' was some kind of term of endearment."

"Old habits die hard. We went to the same music academy in Tokyo but I didn't even know she existed until my final year. She was my junior and coincidentally my next door neighbour." Chiaki's thoughts drifted to another time and place. "Once she intruded into my life, there was no stopping her. She was terrifying and brilliant at the same time. What was more incredible was that she didn't seem to care just how good she was or how great she could be."

"Even now, I get that feeling from her… that her achievements mean very little… it's the piano she loves." Rothwell ventured.

Chiaki nodded. "I didn't know what to do with her. She wasn't like anyone that I had ever met. But when she played… she took my breath away… even then, in those early years."

"I don't know when it became about her and not just the music… All I knew is that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without her. It was a daunting realisation in many ways." Chiaki chuckled. "She was erratic… moody one moment and lively the next. Her playing was much the same. But there was never a dull moment with her around."

"What happened?"

"She left me… for someone else…" A deep sorrow manifested in Chiaki's eyes.

"She did what…?!" It was Rothwell's turn to look astounded.

"Yeah, I didn't think she was capable of it either… It was some lounge lizard. Happened while I was away guest conducting for the London Phil. Not even a Dear John letter either. And to think, I was finally going to ask her to marry me." Chiaki sounded bitter.

"'We cannot fight for love as men may do. We should be wooed, and were not made to woo. I'll follow thee and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so well.'" Rothwell muttered in the background, staring blankly at the door behind Chiaki.

"I came back a day early to surprise her. She wasn't home so I started making dinner… even left a message with her room mate that I was back… she never showed up… I sit around worried sick and ring a few friends. They said that she'd been spending a lot of time at this particular bar. I go there and they tell me she's at Francois's place. The entire time I wonder who Francois is. He didn't live too far from the Conservatoire so I found it easily enough. They were on the roof… dancing and carrying on. Congratulating one another. She was a bit drunk… she could never hold her alcohol well."

"Have you asked her about any of this?"

"No… never… I furious at the time and I thought that if I confronted her about it, she'd make all kinds of ridiculous excuses. I haven't spoken to her since… until tonight."

"I doubt that she knows any of this."

"How can you be sure of this?"

"She told me as much herself…"

"What did she tell you?"

"She told me about a man that she cared about… that he left her without an explanation. That she was trapped in the past… wandering in a wasteland of questions."

Chiaki remembered overhearing that conversation… there had been despair in her voice.

"And you believe her?"

"I believe her as I believe you…"

"What do you mean?"

"That there are more gaps that need to be filled."

Chiaki didn't know what else he could say… Rothwell seemed convinced of Nodame's ignorance in the entire matter. Then a thought occurred to him.

"What did you mean when you said that it depended on me?"

"Shinichi… there are some things that I can do for my patients. However, even if I had the world's greatest miracle drug at my disposal… I cannot help someone who doesn't want treatment."

"She doesn't want treatment?" Chiaki looked at Rothwell incredulously.

"I think she has given up on life."

"Nodame? No, never! But why…?" Chiaki saw the grave look on Rothwell's face.

"I think you know why." Rothwell gave Chiaki a meaningful look.

"She doesn't need me… she's proven that the last five years…" Chiaki protested.

"She's proven that she can work hard and be a successful pianist…" Rothwell interjected. "But what's the rest of her life been like? She's still single… she doesn't have that many friends and judging from what you've said… she's a shell of her old self. Have you even considered that her accomplishments could just be a cover for a broken heart?"

"It never struck me…"

"I can't help feeling that there's something inconsistent in that story… I've met your Nodame, we've talked a little and I'm not convinced that the young woman lying in my hospital bed, who's pining away for you would ever betray your trust. She loves you far too much and if you had the sense you'd have seen that a long time ago. From where I'm looking the only thing she's proven in the last five years is how steadfast her affections have been in spite of having been cast aside with no explanation."

Chiaki knew that Rothwell was making far too much sense for him to flatly dismiss that line of thinking. More often than not he had asked himself why Nodame left him but he never went far enough. His own heart had wavered but he ignored its pleas for clemency… and then an opportunity came up in Vienna to work with Sebastiano Viera… and so he left her behind, without a word… leaving her to her own devices… An awful chill went up Chiaki's spine at the thought that somehow he had made such a terrible error in judgment. An error that cost them both five years. _Was it too late to make things right?_

"Can I see her?"

"She's sleeping now… which is something I suspect the both of us need to do as well. Go home… and get some rest, if you can… There will be time to see her later."

"What do you want me to do?"

"First and foremost… set her free, Shinichi… tell her the truth…"

"What is the truth?" Chiaki whispered to himself.

* * *

Sleep would not come to him… try as he might… He pondered over what Rothwell said, poured over the articles he had accumulated over the years that would provide a clue to into the mind of Noda Megumi. Everything he read confirmed what Rothwell said. Nodame was well-liked and charmed everyone with her quirky mannerisms… but she was never linked with any man during her time in the spotlight. She lived alone and went to social events largely on her own.

Whatever the case… Chiaki knew that he had to shoulder much of the responsibility for what happened. He reproached himself for failing to delve deeper at the time and then brooded over the whys and wherefores. What was it he said to Rothwell?… _It was a daunting realization that I didn't want to live life without her._ By his own admission, living with Nodame for the rest of his life had been a daunting prospect. Had he been looking for a way out? Could that be it? _But I was going to ask her to marry me! I didn't have to._

Chiaki flailed his hands in frustration and accidentally caused a pile of music magazines to tumble onto the floor. _Was it just obligation on my part? A reward for her loyalty?_ Feelings of self-abnegation overcame him as he saw his past flash before his eyes.

He let himself slide down to the floor until his head touched the carpet… _Is it obligation too that I miss her?_


	7. Chapter 7: Sforzando

**Chapter 7: Sforzando**

"What do you mean she's gone?" Chiaki demanded belligerently. His mind was sifting through the worst case scenarios. "You distinctly told me that she was sleeping and that would be plenty of time…"

"She checked herself out this morning." Rothwell responded calmly.

"Oh…" Chiaki breathed a sigh of relief. "But why… shouldn't she be in hospital resting…"

"Odd isn't it, she seems to have given up on life and yet there's still a very strong will at work here. Your Nodame is an intriguing creature."

"You have no idea." was the wry comment.

"Where have you been.. Marian's been beside herself with worry… You don't look like you got too much sleep yourself."

"I guess not. But I'll live."

"Where have you been…"

"Mostly walking… I fell asleep at a park for a couple of hours and then wandered around town."

"You should just go home now… and get some sleep. She'll be fine for now."

"Where do you think she is?"

"At her hotel most likely… packing I suppose."

"Packing?! For what?"

Rothwell nodded. "Yeah, she's determined to go home…"

"Home?"

"Back to Japan… she told the attending."

"That idiot… what can she be thinking…"

"The comfort of familiar surroundings… loved ones in close proximity that sort of thing…"

"But shouldn't she wait till she's stronger before traveling?"

"I don't think she's in a rational frame of mind just now."

"Hmph… Putting Nodame in the same sentence as 'rational' is an oxymoron."

"Well, we can't stop her… it's her right… Besides, she'll get good care on the way there. It's all been arranged. Apparently Franz Streseman has a private jet and he's flying her back to Japan. "

"Streseman?" Chiaki echoed in dismay. "That womanizing…"

"Yeah, they're old friends… imagine that… " Rothwell remarked slyly knowing something of the falling out between the two men and the older man's reputation.

"This is ridiculous… Somebody needs to talk some sense into that idiot…" was Chiaki's angry retort. He swung round immediately and stormed off to the nearest elevator entrance.

Watching Chiaki storm off, Rothwell suppressed a smile. _I sure would love to be a fly in the wall when that conversation takes place… Hmm… Maybe I shouldn't have rubbed it in too much about Streseman._

* * *

Through a couple of contacts, Chiaki discovered where Nodame was staying. On his way there… he started to have cold feet and even froze in his tracks at one time. _What am I doing? How am I going to persuade her… We've spoken to each other once in the last five years and now I'm trying to tell her how to live… What am I going to say? Taking into account that she doesn't take kindly to coercion._

In the end, he was resolved to go. His desire to see her that overrode any misgivings that he may have had.

* * *

The music grew louder the closer he got… it was coming from the hotel bar. It wasn't the usual type of music played in such a place. The player, whoever he or she was, was experimenting with Hungarian Rhapsody No. 6 using jazz chords. A novel idea… amusing almost… 

He was not alone in thinking that. In the early hours of the day, the piano drew a small crowd, made up of a few guests and staff . Chiaki was momentarily distracted by this spectacle and made his way toward the music. Ten meters in, he could just make out a familiar light brown mop. He had to smile… _Can't resist lure of the piano, can you?_

Ambling further, he saw another familiar face sitting cross-legged and pouring himself a whiskey. _Streseman!_

"Chiaki… it has been a while…" The German conductor was unaware at that he moment that he was the object of Chiaki's wrath.

"Not long enough. You, of all people should know better than to encourage her harebrained ideas…"

"It's good to see you too, Chiaki." Streseman paused before saying, "Believe me… I'm doing this for her sake."

"If you call yourself her friend… why are you doing this… She needs to be in a hospital… getting treatment."

"I know this, you know this… and she knows this…"

"Then why…"

"Have you ever watched someone you care about waste away bit by bit…"

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with it… Right about the time the two of you had your falling out, Nodame found out that her grandmother was in the final stage of colon cancer. Her family kept it from her for a while but eventually they had to tell her. Of course when she heard about it, she wanted to fly on the first plane out of Japan. To cut a long story short, when she got home, the chemotherapy had taken its toll and she spent the last weeks by her grandmother's bedside watching her slowly slip away. With her temperament, you can imagine what that did to her.

"Why didn't she tell me… why didn't anyone…" Chiaki stood aghast.

"She made us all swear to secrecy, your mother too. It took her a while to get over it. Afterwards, Nodame had some crazy notion that she knew how to get you back… she was sure that if she won the Tilburn competition, you'd come back to her. But even though she kept winning competitions, you never came back."

"Nodame… you idiot…" Chiaki's voice lowered to a whisper. _It wasn't just about the music…_

"She _is_ an idiot… for waiting… for thinking that you're worth it… But thanks to you, the world has at least had a taste of one of the most exciting pianists to ever hit the stage."

"Maestro…"

"I was an idiot for thinking that you were worth it. My only pupil." Streseman lit a cigarette. "I suppose you'll be going over to the New York Phil next season."

"How did you…" Chiaki was startled.

"I know people who know people… " And then Streseman added abruptly, "I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thanks…" Chiaki was stunned. "But what are we going to do about Nodame?"

"Is there anything to do? She's been through enough… if that's how she wants it then so be it…"

"You're just going to give up?"

"It's what she wants…"

Underneath that apparently cavalier attitude, Chiaki thought that he detected a hint of emotion. It was hard to tell with Streseman… by nature, he was calculating and carried a large bag of tricks with him wherever he went. One never knew what went on inside that conniving mind. However, he sensed that in a strange way, Streseman had an inexplicable affection for Nodame. But he didn't understand this rather deferential attitude.

"Well, I'm not ready to give up…" Chiaki said defiantly.

Streseman held his arm out to block the younger man's path. "Chiaki… don't… She's been through enough because of you. Just let it go… let her go…"

Whatever Streseman's motives were, the words "because of you" did the trick. Chiaki Shinichi wavered and shrank back. Whatever guilt he was experiencing already, exploded tenfold. He couldn't shake off the self-reproach… that he failed to be there when she needed him the most… that he didn't even try to understand the situation then. He had plainly and simply abandoned her.

Chiaki sank into the nearest chair looking defeated. Sleep deprivation and emotional turmoil was taking its toll. Streseman looked at him sympathetically.

"Go home… go back to your beautiful Miss Rothwell… and to your blossoming career … enjoy the success you've worked so hard for. You look like you haven't slept in days."

"But Nodame…"

"Will get the best care possible… I'll see to it. The last thing she needs now is more stress… which is what she'll have if you confront her now. Don't you worry. There are a lot of people looking out for her."

_But none of them will be me…_

* * *

"Milch… who was that you were talking to before?" 

"Oh… no one in particular… just an autograph hunter… one of your overenthusiastic fans."

"Really, I thought it was Chiaki senpai."

"Hmmm… now that you mention it, he did look like Chiaki."

* * *

While Chiaki saw the logic of what Streseman said, his heart was not so easily dissuaded. Self-recriminations aside, his concern for Nodame was genuine. He had watched her from afar, anxious for any little tit bit relating to her solitary life. Although apart, her music rang constantly in his ears and each time he heard her play… it was as if she was calling out to him. Ironically… to find out now… from Streseman of all people… that she had indeed been calling. Persistently and sorrowfully. If he hadn't been so unyielding all those years ago, he would be by her side now giving her the care that she needed. He wouldn't have to regain any rights he had relegated. 

He fumbled with his keys as he stood at the door of his apartment. He heard the knob turn and saw the door open.

"Shinichi… Where have you been?" Marian searched his bloodshot eyes. "You look like you've been through hell and back."

"Hell? Yes… Back… I'm not so sure…" He staggered past her and dived onto the sofa.

"You've had me worried." She stated quietly.

"I'm sorry…" It was then he noticed that she was clutching onto the black scrapbook and all he could say was, "Oh…" _So now you know…_

* * *

"Are you set, Nodame?" 

"Yes, I think so…"

"Milch…"

"What is it, Nodame?"

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

"We're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course… but you've gone beyond the call of duty…"

"I'm an old man…I don't have that many friends… and I still remember how you were after your grandmother died."

"Yeah, I went through some dark days then…" Nodame smiled. "Funny thing is, it wasn't quite so hard this time round… knowing what to expect. The drugs help too."

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"I'm not really… but I'm at peace… I've done everything I set out to do. It's been fun…" _Not everything… but I've seen senpai and that's enough._

As if reading her mind, Streseman said, "I hear that Chiaki is going to be the principal conductor for the New York Phil next season."

"He is? Wow… that's fantastic…" Nodame flashed a smile. "I'm so glad… He's done so well for himself. As I always knew he would."

There was a moment of silence before Nodame continued speaking.

"I saw him the other night… and spoke to him… After 5 years…" Her voice faded off before she recovered. "He looked very well and seemed happy with Miss Rothwell."

"So… you're over him… finally…"

"No, Milch… I will never be over him… But I can be thankful that I had spent some of the best years of my life with him and I got to say goodbye."

* * *

Part of him was glad that he didn't have to explain… he didn't know how… In no small measure, he was relieved that it was finally out in the open. It had been such a vital part of his life and now he was able to make reference to it. Nonetheless it had become more complicated than that… his feelings for Nodame were as strong as they were the day he left. Perhaps more so, as it was mixed with regret, pity and remorse. 

"So what are you going to do?" Marian asked him.

"I don't know… Seeing her again and finding out about her condition… It doesn't feel right to just walk away and pretend that I'm okay with it."

She picked up her handbag and swung it over her shoulders. "Shinichi… let me know, won't you?"

"Huh?"

"What you decide…"

"Marian, I'm so sorry…" He stammered, realizing what she was driving at.

"I'm a smart girl and I know I can't compete with this…" She pointed to the scrapbook. "I don't want to either… and I certainly don't want to play second fiddle to it for the rest of my life."

With those words, she picked up the rest of her things and walked out of his apartment.

Chiaki was grateful to her. Her intelligence and warmth were the things he liked most about her. She had tried to make it easy for him… but she was right… the inclination of his heart lay elsewhere. A feeling of déjà vu swept over him but he knew he had to act quickly. He picked up the phone and rang his travel agent, giving himself a week to tidy his affairs before leaving.

That afternoon, after running some errands, he returned home and wrote two letters… one to the New York Chamber Orchestra and one to the New York Philharmonic.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_I've put in a series of quick updates in the past few days because I'm anticipating a very busy weekend. I didn't want to leave you all wondering if there was going to be any light at the end of this apparently extremely long tunnel. This chapter marks the end of the New York arc but as you will have guessed, the story is far from being over.  
_

_There are three things I love about Nodame Cantabile… the celebration of western classical music (that's what drew me to the anime in the first place), the relationship between Nodame and Chiaki, and the personality of Nodame._

_The thing that intrigues me most about Nodame is that she has all the classic signs of bipolarity. Her highs border on the manic and her lows are extremely low. In the manga, her depressive states are dressed in humour but there is something quite dark about the way she slumps around when things aren't going well for her._

_As someone who has been through post-natal depression, I must admit I have far too much interest in the subject._


	8. Chapter 8: Calando

**Chapter 8 : Calando**

"What's wrong…?" Chiaki was mystified. He arrived at Nodame's apartment carrying a brown bag loaded with groceries.

The sobbing grew louder but there was no answer.

"Nodame… are you alright? Was it your recital? It can't have been a complete disaster, can it?"

He managed to decipher a piteous "no" lost beneath all the whimpering and blubbering.

"Have you heard from home? Has something happened to your family in Japan?"

Again… there was no answer. Chiaki was beginning to really worry. Nodame was obviously distressed about something.

"It's the Three Blind Cats…"

"The what…" Chiaki was gradually wondering if Nodame was an extraterrestrial in disguise speaking in some kind of intergalactic code. It would explain her lifelong obsession with Puri-Gorota.

"The Three Blind Cats…" She wailed. "Someone else has bought it."

Chiaki's handsome face contorted in pain and he burst out in frustration.

"What in blazes are you talking about?"

"My ring… the one with the three diamonds… the Three Blind Cats…"

"What sort of person calls a diamond ring the Three Blind Cats…" He mused vainly.

"But they looked like blind cats… they had eyes that squinted in the light and bushy whiskers."

"Don't be ridiculous… " Chiaki snapped. "Besides, it didn't have your name written on it."

"It was my ring… I saw it first… Nobody had the right to take it away from me." She lamented angrily. "It was suppose to be our engagement ring."

"Aren't you being presumptuous… Who says that we're going to be engaged?"

"It is fate… and you can't go against fate."

Chiaki despaired… how was one to argue against such logic. But Nodame defied all known logic. He sighed and caved in… as he usually did.

"Is it my fate to be stuck with a hentai for the rest of my life?" He moaned.

"I'm worth it… senpai… One day, you'll appreciate my finer qualities. Isn't there some English saying that says that a good wife is worth more than diamonds?"

"I think it's 'rubies'… idiot…"

"Whatever… " Nodame waved it off airily.

"Anyway, there are always other rings…" Chiaki ventured hopefully.

"No… nope… it had to be that one… I could feel it. There was an instant connection between us the moment the diamonds caught my eye. You were slow to act, senpai." She bored into his eyes wrathfully.

"If you are, as you say, fated to have this ring… I'm sure it'll show up somewhere down the track…"

"You are being rather blase about this… it's our future we're talking about… we should leave nothing to chance."

"Chance? I thought you were talking about fate a minute ago…"

Nodame's response to this reasonable line of argument was to fall into a silent huff.

There was no reasoning with Nodame… they went back and forth much of the evening. The discussion finally came into an end when Nodame was somewhat mollified by the prospect of a three course, home made Italian meal. It did the trick, as the rest of the evening passed by much less eventfully.

That night when Chiaki returned to his apartment, he took out the ring he had bought from Patrice's Jewellers the previous evening. He scrutinized the three diamonds at various angles and in the end, broke into a wide grin._Three Blind Cats, eh… That Nodame…_

* * *

It was a long taxi ride to Okawa. There was too much time to brood about the recent past. He looked at the bulge in his coat pocket and reminisced about happier times. Several years earlier, Chiaki had returned to his apartment and was met by a bitterly disappointed Nodame… weeping copiously under several layers of blankets. Tissues were strewn all over the floor. Without her knowing, he had procured the ring that she had been eyeing for weeks during various window shopping jaunts. He often wondered whether he should have told her but Chiaki had been unsure… of himself… of her… of their relationship. He hadn't wanted to get her hopes up and in the end, she was forced to wait another two years. The two years turned into seven. 

Their respective careers were all important, he had told himself… He had been doing well for himself… she had yet to make her mark. In his own mind, he justified the wait by telling himself that their being married would be too much of a distraction for her. Why that was so, he couldn't articulate to himself.

He never told her how much he missed her, all the time he was guest conducting for the London Phil. He would ring at odd hours just to hear her voice… her ridiculous outbursts had lessened with time… but she had become too much of a fixture in his life to even consider letting go. On those bitterly cold days, he realized he didn't mind her company as he thought about her nestling under his arm and falling soundly asleep while he was sitting reading or scribbling on a score he was working on.

By his own admission, no one was more shocked than Chiaki Shinichi when he realized that he loved her… that watching her antics had become second nature to him and then finding himself eagerly wondering what other kind of surprises were awaiting him around the corner. All those things he never told her... the things he loved about her and now he feared that he was going to lose her for good…

Okawa had not changed much… the river was a constant. A reminder of what had been. He remembered that fateful day when she made her choice to further her piano studies and throw her lot in with him. He had been absurdly happy although he vehemently denied it later… the thought of not having her by his side and hearing her play was something he could scarcely imagine even then.

He stopped the taxi, paid the driver and got out not far from the bridge. He decided he would take his time and walk the rest of the way. The river looked inviting as he strolled toward it. As a precaution, he hadn't brought much luggage… leaving much of it at the Miyoshi residence. The truth was, he just didn't know what kind of reception he would receive in Okawa. He was half expecting to be thrown out in his first attempt but he was resolved to make his presence known… praying that it was not too late. A part of him, bogged down by guilt, wondered if he was entitled to second chances.

But there were still many unanswered questions. Questions which had haunted him over the years were still hovering between them. He still had questions about Nodame's relationship with the greasy Francois. From where he was standing, it seemed like there was a kind of intimacy between them but thinking about it further, he knew that it had been out of character for her to be carrying on behind his back. However, he had been enraged at a time when he was ready to commit and wasn't in any frame of mind for explanations. Now, he knew that for both their sakes, he had to find out what really happened that time.

Chiaki stooped beside the river bank and stared out into the water, watching the ripples in the water and the cars on the other side of the river come and go. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself the luxury of lingering in one place with no thought of time.

* * *

"What? You're going away for three months? Without me?" Nodame had exclaimed. 

"You need to prepare for your piano competition. You can't do it if you're distracted by a new place."

"But three months… " Nodame had looked quite distraught. "What am I going to do for three months?"

"Studying… working obviously."

"Won't you miss me?"

_More than you know._ But he had neatly evaded answering the question.

"One of the patrons of the Roux-Marlet has invited me to a masquerade ball, I don't mind taking you with me when I get back."

"Really…" Nodame had brightened. "Masquerade ball… that means I get to dress up…"

"Yes… but not your kind of dressing up… Certainly not as a mongoose…" Chiaki had added hastily.

"Don't worry, senpai, I won't embarrass you…" There had been a dreamy look in her eyes."

In the end, they had not gone… He had taken off to Vienna in a fit of indignation and she had been left alone to face a family crisis alone. Why didn't anyone tell him… _Curse that idiot_… for making him think all that time that she was doing well without him… He had really believed it at the time or perhaps he only convinced himself of it to ease his own conscience. Her career had seemingly taken off and she stormed onto the world stage snatching the limelight everywhere she went. He had sensed the increasing melancholy in her performances but things being what they were, he was content to stand on the sidelines… at least then, he still had access to the music.

Now the music was threatening to disappear forever… already he could feel it fading from his ears. He wondered if it was worth clinging onto something that he himself had cast aside.

It was then that he heard something else in the distance… a voice, calling out his name…

"Chiaki…"

Chiaki stood up at once, shaking the dirt off his pants… noting that the voice was coming from the water.

"Chiaki… is it really you?" It came from a fishing boat, it's engine chugging noisily as it got closer.

A stout man with graying hair flailed his arms frantically. "Chiaki! It really is you… what in the world are you doing in Kyushu?"

It was Nodame's father, goggled eyed and his mouth agape.

* * *

Chiaki felt awkward… this is what he had feared returning to Japan. How would Nodame's family view him? Would they perceive him to be the villainous ex-boyfriend? They were a simple people… raucous to a large degree but in their own eccentric way they were a tight-knit family. Still he was committed to this course and there was no turning back now. 

"Mr Noda… you're looking well… How's the seaweed business?"

"Alright… I suppose… we get by. How are you?" The awkwardness was evidently mutual.

"I'm fine… just fine… I've been working in New York these past 2 years."

Noda senior nodded. "We heard. Your mother comes to see us…"

"She does?"_Strange, Mum has never mentioned this._

"Yes… especially when… er… Megumi is at home." Noda looked as if he searching for the right words.

This was the opening Chiaki was looking for. "How is she?"

"Megumi? She's… er… " Mr Noda paused for a moment before blurting out, "Why are you here, Chiaki?" That question had obviously been weighing on his mind during the entire exchange. "Is it to see Megumi?"

Chiaki could only nod silently, nervously wondering what kind of tirade he would be subjected to. The brief silence that sprang up between them was torture.

"Finally…" Relief was written all over Mr Noda's face. "I'm so glad you're here, Chiaki… She hasn't touched the piano once since she's been home."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_I must admit that I am astounded by the amount of interest that you have all shown towards this story. For that I must thank you all. Special thanks to those who have written reviews and please be assured that I read them all with the greatest of interest. I have taken note of all the comments and appreciate you all for taking the time and trouble._


	9. Chapter 9: Affetuoso

**Chapter 9: Affetuoso**

**Myzee:**_Because you asked, you shall receive… ;-)_

**SB Kisses**_: Lots of good questions there… Stay tuned. _

**Nisch:**_ Durnt it… Can't win 'em all ;-) but thanks for your comments._

**Ebony:**_ I live for your reviews, friend._

**T7:**_ High praise, indeed. You sound like someone who should be writing Nodame fics! ;-) _

"Megumi…" came the call from the other end of the house.

Nodame instinctively stopped what she was doing and instantly gathered up all the newspapers that she'd been reading and shoved them higgledy-piggledy into the bottom drawer. A large pair of scissors and a couple of gluesticks followed.

"Yes, mum…" Her reply reverberated through the house.

"You have a visitor…"

"Who is it?"

"We're coming through…"

"Give me a minute."

Nodame was hard pressed trying to imagine who it could be. Unless it was Milch… but she wasn't expecting him for some time. He had made noises about coming back but it was hard to tell with him. The man was a roving spirit and he had complained on a number of occasions that the women in Kyushu were incomprehensibly immune to his charms.

From habit, she tucked herself under a quilt and took a reclining position as if to give the impression that she had been resting. Her door slid open and her visitor came through. He bowed politely, taking note of the breathlessness and unnatural brightness in her eyes.

"Megumi-chan, it's good to see you."

Nodame was genuinely pleased to see him. "Kuroki… what a wonderful surprise… I'm so glad to see you."

* * *

Chiaki looked around him with some degree of anxiety. While Mr Noda was being unexpectedly reasonable and amicable, it occurred to the rather guilt-ridden Chiaki that he could still fall victim to an "accident" while out in the water. While his aviatophobia had dissipated throughout the years due to frequent travel, his aquaphobia had persisted, although to a lesser degree to what he had suffered in his adolescence. 

"How is Nodame really?"

"It's hard to say… She's surprisingly cheerful but one doesn't really know with Nodame. Several doctors have told us that the success rate for treating B-Cell NHL is very good but she stubbornly refuses treatment."

"I heard." Chiaki said briefly.

"We think that it's mostly a reaction to her grandmother's death. But no amount of reasoning with her has had any effect."

"I only heard about Nodame's grandmother a couple of weeks ago. Please let me offer my condolences."

"Nodame took it very badly at the time… they were very close as you know. At first she just pretended that her grandmother had gone on a holiday to Osaka but after a while, the reality of what happened sank in. Watching her grandmother suffer from the effects of the chemotherapy was probably the worst part. Coupled by the fact that…" He regarded Chiaki with undisguised intensity and stopped short of blaming him for the rest of Nodame's afflictions.

"We broke up on less than amiable terms…" Chiaki whispered hoarsely.

"She doesn't talk about that so we're not sure what happened between you two. She was always strange to be sure but she became much more depressed and for a lot longer. Your mother was very concerned about her and came to visit, insisted that she seek medical attention immediately."

Chiaki was nonplussed._Why didn't mum tell me any of this?_

"The depression comes and goes… The medication helps and she was getting better until about four months ago when her present condition was diagnosed."

"I knew nothing about any of this… my own mother… said nothing…" He averted his eyes.

Mr Noda gave Chiaki a knowing look. "Nodame has a proud streak… goodness knows where that comes from. Her mother probably. But she didn't want you to know. She was so sure that you would both be reconciled eventually but she had to prove herself to you and to the world."

"She didn't… have to…" Chiaki blustered weakly. "It wasn't about that…"

"I never thought she had it in her… Imagine that… my own daughter… a virtuoso pianist." Mr Noda's glassy eyes glinted in the sun. "Against all odds, battling heartache and depression… she conquers the world." There was a mixture of pride and sadness in his voice.

Chiaki looked away as he saw that Mr Noda had said his piece and was presently immersed in his own thoughts. The afternoon breeze swept by and gently cradled them both. Listening to hum of his surroundings and mulling over what was said, Chiaki was reminded of why he fell in love with a _hentai_ in the first place.

* * *

"Congratulations! That is great news… I appreciate that you came all this way to tell me." 

"Thank you… "

"I would love to be there."

"And it would be my great honour to have you there."

Kuroki looked at Nodame curiously. Her pleasure to see him was evidently heartfelt but he couldn't help feeling that she was holding something back. Clearly she was tired but he hated to think that the young pianist that he had admired so greatly for so long was allowing herself to wither away slowly. It wasn't her illness that was eating at her but something that went deeper… _Affairs of the heart, perhaps…_It was not a subject that he dared to bring up for fear of how it might affect her.

_Whatever happened to those two?_ He had thought them inseparable at one time. But he had seen them both on various occasions in the past few years but separately and that had felt strangely out of place in Kuroki Yasunori's universe. He had thought of them so much in terms of a single unit.

"Are you alright, Megumi-chan?"

"I am well… as well as I can be in such circumstances…"

"Are you happy?" He gave her one of his penetrating looks.

"Happier than I've been in a very long while."

"Why is that…"

"I can finally let go of the past."

"Are you talking about Chiaki?"

Nodame laughed, "You were always the straightforward one, Kuroki… Yes, I suppose I am talking about Chiaki senpai."

"I've seen him off and on at various music related events in the last few years." Kuroki commented thoughtfully.

"Really…" Nodame tried not to sound too eager.

"In fact, I ran into him at one of your performances… Which one was it?" Kuroki was racking his brains, trying to remember.

"You did?" Nodame looked surprised.

"Hmm… I happened to be in town at the time, attending a conference… at Warsaw… Three years ago I think. I had to book months ahead to get tickets. "

"The Chopin comp?"

"I think so… yes… definitely… that's what it was. I didn't catch the finals… it was the third or fourth round that I saw."

"He was there?"

"Oh yes… We were attending the same conference not far from where the competition was being held. We had coffee later… and he said that you had been playing very well. He was pretty confident that you'd reach the finals. In fact, he was planning to stay in Warsaw a little longer to watch the finals."

"I didn't know…" Nodame said wistfully. "I wish I had."

Kuroki thought for a minute or two before asking.

"Megumi-chan, I suppose it's none of my business, but what happened to the two of you?"

"I wish I knew…"

* * *

"You know, it's funny… no one else has ever asked me… apart from Milch that is… I know they want to but all they do is look at me like I'm such a pitiful creature and when I'm not looking, they shake their heads thinking that I'm such a complete idiot for being so taken with senpai." 

"I must admit to being curious… you both seemed inseparable."

"That's what makes the entire situation more frustrating… it just happened. I was waiting for him to get back and then he goes off to Vienna. No explanations… nothing."

"Knowing Chiaki the way I do, I find it hard to believe that he would just cast any friend by the wayside, much less you."

"Over the years, I've tried so hard to think of what I might've done to make him leave like that. I've been angry, I've wept… depressed. I've even grieved over what might have been. To this day, I still wonder

"Is that the reason you've remained single…?"

"To some extent." Nodame said slowly as if reaching for some long lost memory. "Years ago, I heard the Chinese pianist, Long Long, play Liebestraume. It was a breathtaking rendition, probably the best that I've ever heard. I sat in my seat throughout the piece mesmerized and wept when it came to an end. It was so sublime, so stirring that to this day, I don't even dare play it myself." She turned to Kuroki and in a pleading voice asked him. "Kuroki… have you ever heard a definitive version of a piece of music you love? Once you hear it… all others pale by comparison…"

"So Chiaki's the definitive version."

"It's not just that. I went on this incredible musical adventure for the years we were together and then having to come back down to earth to the mundane. How could one ever forget such a thing so easily?"

"I think I understand." Kuroki looked at her with renewed respect.

"I knew I could never measure up to him… but I didn't care… It was just enough that he wanted me there. But when he went from my life, there was only the music left… I made it my life… it kept me going. For a while there, I childishly believed that if I worked harder and put my heart and soul into facing the music single-mindedly it would bring him back… But then he found someone else…"

Nodame's voice was rich with emotion and Kuroki could not be unaffected by it. He could see that for her to talk like this was something she had needed to do for a very long time. He was inwardly gratified that it was giving her some kind of release.

His calming, non-judgemental silence was all the encouragement she needed to continue as she dabbed the tears from her eyes and cheeks. "I am grateful to him though. He helped me see what I could become and what a glorious thing it is to truly feel music running through your veins. To be able to catch a glimpse of what Beethoven meant when he said that, "Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual." Nodame turned to look at Kuroki and smiled through her tears, "To make joyful, joyful music… to take it to the highest places… Damn, it's just too much fun."

Her quiet laughter rang through the tears.

"Megumi-chan… I think I understand now why he wanted you by his side."

* * *

The Noda residence had not changed much… not even the clutter that littered the front of the house. Bags of things which had outlived their usefulness remained… now only valued for the memories that they held. 

Chiaki was weak-kneed as he made his way up the concrete steps. He couldn't be sure what kind of reception awaited him. The look of trepidation on Mr Noda's face did not inspire much confidence either.

Mr Noda beckoned for him to come in as he noticed Chiaki hanging back. As Chiaki gingerly entered the house, he could see a pair of dagger-like eyes aimed squarely at him. The lady of the house had heard some movement out in the front and rushed out of the kitchen to investigate.

"Why did you bring this person here?" She turned to her cowering husband in her sternest manner.

* * *

"So you've not spoken to him all these years?" 

"Just once recently… in New York… at a party that his girlfriend gave."

"That must've been awkward."

"You know, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."

"How so…"

"I think he was more nervous than I was." Nodame allowed herself a giggle.

Kuroki suppressed a smile. "I can imagine."

"You know, on hindsight, I must say it was a fortuitous meeting. It gave me the closure that I needed."

* * *

He had rubbed shoulders with presidents, royalty and celebrities. Chiaki Shinichi, conductor extraordinaire, late of New York and courted by leading orchestras of the world, was now being pelted to death by the woman who could have been his mother-in-law. All manner of household goods were flying in his direction… whatever was closest on hand. Still, he thought that there was something peculiarly cathartic about the entire scenario. Judging from the force at which the objects were headed towards him, Chiaki thanked his lucky stars that she lacked the strength to hurl the coffee table across the room. Her husband, on the other hand, stood by helplessly. He tried in vain to placate her but she was a woman on a mission. 

Finally exhausted after all her exertions, she stormed up to Chiaki and threw herself at him breaking into a mind-numbing wail. "It's your fault that my daughter's dying." She shouted, as she beat rhythmically against his chest. The phrase became her mantra as she repeated it over and over, _diminuendo…_

Chiaki stood rooted to the floor, feeling sheepish and conscience-stricken. In the middle of all that kerfuffle, all he could offer was a feeble, "I'm so sorry…"

Inside Nodame's room, Kuroki and Nodame were wondering what the commotion outside was. As the noise got inexplicably louder they thought it wise to investigate. Nodame was surprised to see her parents huddled around a third person.

"Is everything alright?" She quizzed.

"Megumi… you have a visitor… " Her mother turned around to face her and was wiping the tears from her eyes.

Nodame gawked at this scene in utter disbelief … "Chiaki senpai…"

* * *

**Author's Note:** _I know I said that this was supposed to be angsty BUT I have decided that it is virtually impossible to do a Nodame story without some humour in it. Anyhow, you can be sure that there will be plenty more angst to come for all those angst-lovers out there. _

**YDKM:**_ Glad that you're still reading... When are you going to update your story? _

**Disclaimer:**_Kuroki Yasunori sadly doesn't belong to me either. He may be the creation of Tomoko Ninomiya but he is stuff of fangirl dreams._


	10. Chapter 10: Sotto

**Chapter 10 : Sotto**

Any disquiet that Chiaki was feeling increased tenfold when he saw Kuroki follow Nodame out of her room. _How long has he been here? Does he come here often?_ He recalled that Kuroki had a deep fondness for Nodame even in the early days of their acquaintance. Quickly, Chiaki pushed aside any wild speculations that he was entertaining and put on his most friendly expression.

"Nodame… Kuroki… How are you doing? I certainly didn't expect to see you here." Chiaki offered his hand.

Kuroki could see a maelstrom brewing in the horizon and knew better than to let himself get caught up in one. _Besides,_ he reasoned to himself, _these two of them have a lot of catching up to do._

Taking Chiaki's hand, he said with natural good will, "Chiaki… It's good to see you. We should catch up sometime but perhaps not right now. I'm sure you two have a lot to discuss." Kuroki reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a card. "Contact me at those numbers anytime." He added, handing it over it to Chiaki.

"Don't leave on my account."

"I was just on my way out…" He turned to face Nodame. "Megumi-chan, I hope to see you again."

"Most definitely. It was good of you to drop by. And thank you for everything." Nodame said warmly.

Chiaki saw them exchange meaningful looks and immediately his heart did a peculiar somersault. _Wonder what's going on with those two. But it doesn't matter… not any more… I just want her to play again._

* * *

With Kuroki out of the way, and her parents conveniently placing themselves elsewhere. Nodame and Chiaki were left alone to face one another. 5 years was a long time for two people who had so much history between them. They had much to say but neither wanted to be the first to begin. 

_I have already let you go, senpai… Why are you here?… I didn't want you to come back to see me like this._

"This house hasn't changed much." Chiaki chanced it by way of breaking the ice.

"Why did you come senpai?" Nodame looked at him squarely. "And don't give me some rigmarole about the Fukuoka Daiei Hawks."

"I thought that they are the Softbank Hawks now…"

Nodame glowered. "Why are you here?" She persisted.

"Your father mentioned that you haven't been playing the piano at all."

"I'm busy doing other things…" She turned to avoid his gaze.

"Such as…?"

"It's none of your business." She said curtly. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Someone needs to make sure you stay focused on your music." Chiaki said brusquely._Good one Shinichi… You are no better than an elephant in a rice field. But Nodame, you're not going to make this easy on me, are you?_

"Is that all?" Nodame was more peevish than disappointed. "You don't need to worry… I'm retired, remember?"

"You're not at all well." He spoke more gently this time.

"Why do you care?"

Chiaki took the bull by the horns. "Nodame, I didn't know about your grandmother and your breakdown…

"And if you did, would it have made a difference?"

"It might have…"

She continued to avert her eyes. "Just go back to America… to Miss Rothwell… to the New York Phil. We've already said our goodbyes…"

"You did but I didn't." _Streseman must have told her about the New York Phil._

"What do you want from me, senpai?" She gave him a look of despair.

"You still owe me a concerto, remember? Rhapsody in Blue in particular. Wasn't that what you said?"

"It's too late… What's past is past. Anyway, it was just childish prattle." She replied in a dull voice.

"It's not too late…" _It can't be… I'm not giving up so easily. Why are you being like this? Where's your outrage? Hit me… throw something at me but don't give up._

"Just go… senpai… I don't need your pity." She said quietly.

"It's not about pity…"

"Than what is it about?" She was looking at him intently.

"It's about you getting better. _I_ need you… to get better." He moved closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. He thought of drawing her closer to himself but she turned away and shrugged him off.

"Senpai… it's alright, you don't owe me anything." She rebuffed him and ambled back to her room. "Go back to your life in America and let me go…"

_Why are you here, Shinichi? I thought you had moved on without me… Don't you know, I will only be a burden to you… You don't know what it's like… you have no idea…_

"Nodame… I.. " He started to say but it was too late. She had disappeared into her room and slid the door behind her.

* * *

Left alone, Chiaki turned on himself, _Why didn't you just tell her how you feel, you idiot?_ and then wondering also if it would have made a difference. She seemed determined to give him the cold shoulder. It had always been his problem with Nodame that he never felt comfortable being open with her about his feelings. He had strenuously resisted every attempt by her to get close to him and he had tried to expunge the growing feelings he had toward her. When he had been ready to acknowledge them, something irrevocably came between them. Maybe it was too late… He had hurt her so terribly that she had lost all confidence in him. The worst part was that she didn't seem at all angry with him. An irate Nodame he could have dealt with more easily but this quiet, apathetic creature was causing him to doubt his own resolve. 

Was it just him? It was clear that she had been overjoyed to see Kuroki and there was so much friendliness between them even in that brief exchange. Were they just friends? He hadn't seen either for a spell. Perhaps she, too had moved on. It made him wonder if he should just walk away and let it all go.

But then, that would be history repeating itself.

* * *

Nodame went to the bottom drawer of her dressing table and pulled it out. Rummaging through the newspapers, she reached down to the bottom and took out a dog-eared notebook covered in coffee and a motley of food stains. She fingered its pages and took her time on various ones. 

_I never wanted you to find out… you of all people… I never wanted to be a burden to you. There was a part of me that knew I was never good enough for you. You lived among the gods while I dwelt among mere mortals. You were meant for great things right from the start. For a while you made me believe that I could to rise above my station. With you by my side I knew I could do anything. When I finally reached the pinnacle , you were still out of my grasp except for glimpses from a distance. I tried to fly to reach you but in doing so I have incurred the ire of the gods. Are they punishing me for wanting to attain the unattainable?_

_Have you returned to torment me? To remind me that you and I can never be…_

* * *

Chiaki strolled along the busy main road that ran along the Noda residence. He had wished the Nodas goodbye and promised to return as soon as he had completed his business in Tokyo. There were things that still weighed heavily in his mind but he was prepared to wait it out. He never thought it was going to be easy but at least now he knew where he stood. He had been prepared for some kind of reaction but to see Nodame reacting the way she did was hard to take. It was going to be an uphill battle. 

He caught the next_shinkansen_ back to Tokyo. He had a lot to think about and the journey back would give him plenty of time to make plans for the future.

* * *

"I heard you passed up an opportunity with the New York Phil, Shinichi…" 

Chiaki had checked into a hotel when he arrived back in Tokyo. As fond as he was of his cousins and uncle, he didn't much feel like having company at that moment. He had opened a bottle of red before stretching himself over the double bed, with a wineglass in his hand. Before he could settle in, his cell phone rang loudly. It was his mother on the other side of the line. _I should have turned the damn thing off._

"Word gets around…" Chiaki mumbled sarcastically.

"I happened to bump into Streseman and he told me. He's friendly with a member of the NYP's board of directors."

"And you seem to be rather friendly with Streseman…"

"It's not what you think, Shinichi…"

"What am I supposed to think? For five years, my own mother was involved in some kind of Nodame conspiracy of which I had no knowledge. Why didn't you tell me?"

"There is no simple answer."

"Don't patronize me, mother!" Chiaki was close to bursting his spleen.

"Shinichi, I know you're angry…"

"Mother, answer my question…"

"Because she asked me not to. Because she was right… She wanted you to be free to choose and you had to choose to go back to her. That's what she wanted the whole time and I agreed with her. A relationship weighed down by obligation sooner or later will choke and stifle. I know something about that."

"But she's dying, mum! That's taking things a little too far."

"Yes… perhaps… and so, what are you going to do about it?"

"I… I don't know… It's as if she's given up on me… on us…"

"The question is… have you given up on her?"

"No… I don't want to… but there's a wall between us now. And it seems impenetrable."

"What do you expect, son… Did you think that you could just pick things up where you left off? You turned your back on her… During the last five years did you once pick up the phone… or send a telegram…"

"I saw almost every major performance she gave…"

"But she doesn't know that. All she knows is that you broke her heart, Shinichi."

"Only because I thought she broke mine." Shinichi responded quietly.

* * *

"Why didn't you ask her about it?" 

"I don't know… I was furious… disappointed… I thought we had made so much headway. I was ready…" Shinichi's voice was shaking.

"I know you, Shinichi… you're afraid to be disappointed. You've never really recovered from our divorce. But Nodame is nothing like your father, you know."

"I know… mum… but at the time I wasn't thinking rationally. I wasn't thinking about her… just about how I was feeling. It was easier just to avoid the issue altogether and throw myself into my work."

"It sounds like you've had a change of heart then…"

"Well, I've had a lot of time to think about things lately…" He gave a rare chuckle. "Seeing that I've burnt all my bridges. I suppose you're going to tell me that I'm a fool… giving up on such a rare opportunity etc etc."

"Oh, I don't know… I've always thought that you don't do enough foolish things. That's why I liked her from the beginning. You did rather have a knack of dating rather dull, colourless girls."

"Mother!"

"It's true. She was good for you. She brought some spark into your life."

"Really… my mother's a closet _hentai_ now is she?

"Well, who was it who dragged you off to conduct the "S"orchestra? In so doing, helped you gain recognition as a serious conductor and enabled you to form your own orchestra? Or who was it who got you flying again so that you could go back to Europe?"

"Okay, okay… I get the picture… I was there, remember?"

"You've become really forgetful, Shinichi… to your own detriment."

"Not when I have you to remind me."

"It's my job although I haven't done as good a job as I should have." Seiko acknowledged. "But what are you going to do now?" She repeated her earlier question.

"I don't know. Take it one day at a time." Shinichi paused before saying, "I just want her to live, mum…" His voice was brimming with sadness. "I'm not ready…"

"So do I, Shinichi."

* * *

After hanging up from talking with his mother, Chiaki spent an interval thinking and staring distractedly at his phone. It was then that he remembered the card that Kuroki had given him. After scrambling for it in his jacket pocket, he promptly dialed one of the numbers listed on the card. 

"Kuroki… sorry for ringing late… but can I meet up with you tomorrow? I'm back in Tokyo for a couple of days."

* * *

As she heard the large wall clock ticking behind her, her gaze was fixed on the dark object standing unrelentingly at the corner of the room, determining what she should do. The upright piano in the living area was daring her to approach and she was trying her hardest to resist its pull. _Curse you, Shinichi, why did you come?_ The black glossy sheen which covered the instrument reflecting the moonlight, was enticing her to go… to take up the challenge… to run her large, pale hands over its attention-starved keys.

_I suppose there's no harm done if I just play a scale or two…_


	11. Chapter 11: Con amore

**Chapter 11: Con amore**

"_No man is an island, entire of itself… __any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."_

* * *

"I'm so grateful that you agreed to talk with me at such short notice." 

"No, Chiaki, I'm glad you rang… it's been a while…" Kuroki hesitated before continuing. "And I had a very strong suspicion that you would want to talk to me about Megumi-chan."

"Was it that obvious?"

"It was very awkward… I admit… all three of us meeting together in such a manner. I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"I do… but it's not probably along the lines of what you're thinking."

"Chiaki, I went to see her as a friend… She needed a friend… I think it helped her a lot to be able to talk about things that she's kept hidden over the years."

"It's not my place to ask you about things said in confidence… but I am worried about her. You must know about her illness by now…"

Kuroki nodded. "It was one reason why I went to see her."

"She is refusing all treatment…"

"Do you know why?"

"A friend in America said that she had given up on life."

Kuroki thought a while before saying what was on his mind.

"I don't think that is what it is." Kuroki said circumspectly. "Maybe I'm wrong but… I think it is more the case that she is looking for a reason to live." So saying, he gave Chiaki a shrewd glance.

"That's not the impression I got when we talked yesterday." was Chiaki's wry response.

As was his habit, Kuroki did not answer immediately. "At the start of her world tour, I went to see her perform here in Tokyo. As expected, she was amazing... technically quite brilliant. She was completely immersed in the music and was in complete control. The consummate professional obviously. But it was more than that… it was as if she and the piano was in perfect symbiosis in their search for the music and I have seldom seen such harmony between the instrument and the player. Megumi-chan's incredible gift is her ability to draw the listener in to that symbiosis to help them perceive the beauty of every single note she plays. She is as much the instrument as she is the player. It's a rare thing but what is rarer still is that she doesn't seem to know it. She is the genuine article. But now her body is flagging… and from her perspective, the music appears to be drifting away… "

Chiaki was deeply moved by Kuroki's comments but said nothing. This long-time acquaintance, sometimes friend had managed to articulate so clearly what he had known since the beginning.

"It is up to you, Chiaki… you have to help her find the music again. After all, you are responsible for setting her on this path in the first place."

The rest of the conversation did not always revolve around Nodame although she was never far away from their thoughts. The two men reminisced a little, made the odd joke, and then talked some more… about the past five years… Kuroki was now lead oboist with the NHK and was considering returning to Europe once he was certain of finding a position somewhere. He was curious about Chiaki's perspective on his breakup with Nodame but the opportunity did not present itself. _Better let them resolve this themselves. _He was not one to pry and Chiaki didn't seem too eager to raise the subject.

It took them a while to get to the matter that was weighing heavily on Chiaki's mind.

"Do you remember someone, from your student days in Paris, called Francois? He used to frequent a drinking establishment near the Conservatoire."

"Francois, Francois… the name does ring a bell… Why?"

"I heard Nodame mention him in passing." Chiaki felt compelled to lie. To explain would only open a can of worms.

"Hmmm… oh, that Francois… he was the manager of the tavern… If memory serves, he was the owner…" Kuroki racked his brains to sift through the many individuals that had come and gone in his life. "That's right. Megumi-chan worked for him… part-time, I think…"

"She did? Doing what?" Chiaki had nightmarish visions of Nodame breaking dishes, dropping wine glasses and pouring drinks all over customers.

"Playing the piano there…"

"I didn't know anything about this…"

"It was probably while you were conducting for the London Phil… the three months you were away. I think it was a gig that she picked up during that time."

"Was she that desperate for money?" Chiaki now had visions of Nodame begging on the street.

"I don't think she did it entirely for money. I remember her being rather coy about the whole thing."

This time Chiaki's imagination really went wild. Nodame in her younger days could be quite naïve and who wasn't to say that she hadn't been taken advantage of by some unscrupulous man… a man named Francois, for instance…

"Her flatmate Monica said that it was some kind of surprise and that all would be revealed eventually. But she was very good."

"Monica?"

"No… Megumi-chan… she played all kinds of jazz standards by ear and took requests. Sometimes she'd improvise… mix up tunes and play all kinds of musical games.That's the part that really got the crowds going. Someone would hum a tune and she'd play it verbatim. I think Francois thought that she missed her calling. Didn't she ever tell you about it?"

"No… she didn't…"_I never gave her the chance._

Some of the questions that had plagued him these past years were coming to light. Armed with this newfound knowledge, Chiaki was now anxious to return to Kyushu… to see her… to find closure and if fate permitted… for them to reconcile.

His first attempt had been less than stellar but at least it gave him some notion of what he was up against. Nodame had always looked a little pale but at that last encounter, she was looking as white as sheet. Her face and arms were worryingly thin. The thought of someone as vital as she was, fading away by choice, brought him anguish.

After conversing for a while further, both men excused themselves and promised to keep in touch. Kuroki couldn't help wondering what plans Chiaki had in store. Chiaki couldn't help wondering if this was his second chance… a chance to make things right.

_I was a fool… I didn't know what I had until it was gone…_

* * *

In the hands of the player, the scale… the arpeggio becomes a study of bell chimes. The beginning looks deceptively simple but it is a piece that stretches both hands to the limit. 

She hunches over the keys. The little bell tinkles… _Allegretto_… _Staccato_… The right hand stretches dexterously… large jumps over two octaves… The left hand joins in. The two hands race with one another to gain mastery over the keys. More jumps between intervals. Large intervals… sixteen note jumps. Trills… fast ones…

The music takes hold of her… she doesn't flag… she doesn't tire… Her head bops up and down as the fingers speed up, giving her a rush… which turns into a frenzy. But she is in complete control… After all, she has done it before in front of hundreds. The bell is chiming… vigorously… distinctly… like melodious peals of laughter… She weaves her magic, enchanting the listener, casting a spell over him.

* * *

Chiaki got off the taxi with two large suitcases and stood immovably to the music that was drifting out of the house. It was music that demanded to be experienced. The energy, its raw power was unmistakable. Now and again he could hear the notes falter but by and large, she had not lost her touch.

Chiaki abandoned his luggage as he felt the call of the pied piper… she was beckoning and this time, he went willingly, his own feet urging him along. One step at a time… then two steps… then three and then quicker ones into the house. There she was sitting at her shrine in the house, the place where music was revered… her right hand speeding up and down the black and white keys and her left hand keeping up in perfect unison.

Mr Noda stood next to Chiaki for a few moments before saying to him, "She has been playing this for the last two days."

Chiaki gave no response but continued to stand there in awe of the spectacle he was witnessing. The older man soon left the younger man's side for he saw how entranced the latter had become. Chiaki was a man bewitched.

A single solitary tear rolled down his face… he had not thought it would happen so soon. To hear her playing… anything… would have been fantastic but it was _La Campanella_! It was a moment worth being witnessed to. He stood there dumbstruck, glorying in a memory of a time and place. She had played it at the Tilburn competition completely immersed in its intricacies and demands and when she struck the last note… she was greeted by a thunderous applause… There was no doubt in anyone's mind that day that she had arrived.

He had been there among the audience. Sorrowful, yet proud… Chiaki had joined the standing ovation and chorus of "bravura"… his only regret being that he did not stand alongside her.

She had done it once… four years ago, without him and perhaps she could again. Standing as the sole witness to this present-time encore, Chiaki applauded involuntarily.

She had not realized that he was standing there… She turned around and found herself saying, "Senpai… you came back…" as if she was a woman who had just emerged from a dream. She pushed back the chair abruptly and stumbled towards him.

"Yes, I came back…"

"Why?"

"Because you and I have unfinished business."

"Do we?" She was swaying from sheer exhaustion and he just managed to catch her in his arms before she fell onto the floor. Now in his arms, she smiled contentedly and sleepily. "I missed you, senpai. You were gone so long."

_Too long._ "I'm sorry… I came back as soon as I could." He whispered gently.

"You're here now… that's all that matters." She muttered before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

He watched her sleep… her lashes flickered… She tossed and turned, talking in her sleep. It was a long time since he was this close to her… He held her hand as if his life depended on it… He caressed her disheveled mop, studied the lines on her face and reminded himself of the softness of her cheeks. 

She stirred slightly and then as if she had been awake the entire time, spoke audibly.

"Why are you back here?" Her eyes still closed but speaking with great urgency.

"Don't you know… do you still have to ask…?" He said quietly.

She let out a big sigh. "You shouldn't have come back… it's too late… for me... for us..."

"It's not too late… you know what every doctor you've seen has said to you about your chances…" He insisted gently but then his tone of voice changed to a more familiar one. The one that stood over her during their informal sessions at the piano. "You're much too thin though. It's about time you started eating properly again. You've really let yourself go… the last five years."

"So you've come back just to tell me what to do." She snapped suddenly and opened her eyes glowering at him. "I don't need you to tell me all that, you know…"

"Perhaps…" Chiaki responded, momentarily caught off guard by Nodame's display of spirit. "But I need you… your music and your mad, coloured world." Then an idea occurred to him. "Five years is a long time to keep a man waiting."

"Keep a man waiting? I kept you waiting? What are you talking about? Who kept who waiting?" She looked at him indignantly. "Senpai, you can be conveniently forgetful. It was you who kept me waiting, remember?"

_Good, that's better._ "Is that so? I was the one that came home from London to an empty flat. I had tried to contact you all day on your cell phone and I even left a message with your flat mate.

"You did?" Nodame was wide awake now. "With Monica?"

"Yeah…"

"That girl." Nodame growled. "I will personally wring her neck the next time I see her." She promised with more than a touch of malevolence. "But senpai, didn't you know? Monica was as reliable as a second-hand car dealer. She probably wrote the message on a newspaper and forgot all about it after that. That girl was ridiculously man mad and kept her life interesting by having two boyfriends on the go all of the time I knew her."

"Speaking of dating two men, who was Francois?"

"Who?" Nodame's face registered a blank. "Francois?" The wheels in her mind were turning over.

"Someone you met in France. According to Kuroki, the owner of the drinking establishment near the Conservatoire. You worked for him at one stage."

"Gyabo! I had forgotten about that... yeah… Him… that Francois…" Nodame reverted to a familiar giggle. "It was suppose to be a surprise."

"For whom?"

"For you, of course, idiot."

Chiaki was bewildered. What had she been up to? "What does it have to do with me?"

"The masquerade ball – he was giving me dancing lessons."

"He was? Why did you ask him and not me?"

"Er… no, senpai. You're too impatient and you were away… in England, remember? Besides, it was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted you to have a graceful partner... someone you could be proud of."

"Well, I was certainly surprised." Chiaki commented wryly.

"How did you find out about Francois if I never told you about those dancing lessons?"

"I saw you two together the night I returned."

"You did?" Nodame looked horrified. "What were we doing?"

"Laughing, drinking and flirting." Chiaki tried unsuccessfully to look indifferent. He was soon to regret saying so much.

"We did?" Nodame felt slightly guilty. "Oh yeah, I remember now. I drank too much… had a terrible hangover the next day. Francois was a dreadful flirt… he was forty at the time and thought he was God's gift to women. But I think he an ulterior motive for flirting with me. He probably just wanted me to continue to playing the piano at his bar."

Chiaki wasn't sure what to make of this… whether to be relieved that it was all a harmless flirtation or angry with himself for making such a monumental error in judgment.

"Let's see… when did this happen… now?" Nodame's interest in these events was piqued. "That's right… it happened right about the time you were supposed to return from England."

"It doesn't matter now, Nodame…" Chiaki tried vainly to keep her from continuing her train of thought.

Unfortunately for him, the ramifications of these events hit her quickly. It was as if someone had turned the light switch on in a dark room.

"You saw us together?"

Chiaki was conspicuously silent.

"And you thought that we were…"

Again, he stayed remarkably silent.

"And because of that you thought I was unfaithful to you…"

And yet again, Chiaki appeared reluctant to speak.

"Do you mean to say that I went through hell the last five years because you thought I was cheating on you?"

Still Chiaki said nothing. The absurdity of the entire situation spoke for itself. He could now only brace himself for her reaction.

Quite unexpectedly, Nodame burst into a chorus of vociferous laughter. "Senpai, I do believe you were jealous."

In an effort to defend himself, Chiaki managed to find his tongue. "What else was I suppose to think?" He tried to bluster his way out of this hole he'd dug for himself.

"Admit it, senpai, you were jealous." She declared gleefully.

"I wasn't… I was just worried… you were so naïve where men were concerned." He sounded unconvincing.

Nodame made the logical inference. "If you were jealous, that means you did care."

Chiaki looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Of course I cared – I fed you and picked up after you, didn't I?"

"The great Chiaki Shinichi… jealous… how funny is that?" She convulsed into playful laughter.

"Look here…" He grabbed her by the arm and drew her to himself. "That's enough." Leaning closer against her, his lips gently took possession of her lips for the first time in a long time.

Her eyes grew as round as saucers in that instant but she allowed herself to be taken. She thought about the first time and the many times after that… she couldn't remember what they felt like but this one would stay with her forever.

"I've almost forgotten how exasperating you can be. " He whispered when their lips parted.

She saw the longing in his eyes and knew… that the last five years had been an _intermezzo_… an interval… a detour… and at long last he had come back to her…

As he leaned over to kiss her again… she pulled away with exaggerated belligerence.

"Don't think you're going to get off lightly, Chiaki Shinichi, for putting me through hell the last five years. For making me believe that I wasn't good enough for you."

"Nodame, I didn't mean… It was nothing like that…" Chiaki was now on the back foot reeling from this change of mood.

"And don't think that a mere kiss is going to be sufficient penance for all your sins." She reprimanded him sternly.

Showing surprising strength, she fell on top of him and knocked him onto the matted floor. He could only moan in feeble protest.

"You're dead meat, Chiaki." She stuck her arm under his chin and whispered in her most foreboding voice.

_I think I went overboard. And now she's going to kill me._

* * *

In another room, an older couple were sharing a moment of pillow talk. 

"Do you think they are going to be alright?"

"Who knows…"

"Maybe we should go and make sure."

"Stay where you are, woman." The man commanded.

The woman relented and heaved a sigh of relief. "At least our daughter isn't going to die a virgin."

* * *

Nodame was in the middle of enforcing judgment, when she collapsed on top of Chiaki and broke into a fit of coughing. 

"You're lucky that I'm not myself." She wheezed, after recovering slightly.

"Nodame, are you alright?" He looked at her gravely concerned.

"I think I still have some warm water in that flask." She was pointing to a navy blue object on her dressing table.

Chiaki went over and poured the contents of the flask on into a mug. She took it from him without much ado and took several mouthfuls of large gulps.

"Be careful you don't choke." He cautioned.

Nodame slumped onto the floor from fatigue. "You shouldn't have come back, senpai." She said in a tone of voice that was difficult to decipher.

"I'm not afraid of you." He was feigning nonchalance but he could see that she was struggling to speak.

"I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Like what? You're still as mad as ever."

"You know what I mean…" She looked at him with heartbreaking sadness. "I just wanted you to remember me the way I was, not as some walking corpse."

Chiaki stretched himself out beside her and pulled her closer to nestle up against him.

"It doesn't have to end that way, you know." He drew her further in.

"I don't know if I can do it. I'm so tired, senpai. Everyday is getting a bit more difficult. And the music…" She turned to hide the tears and buried in her face in his chest.

"Is just as strong as ever."

"Don't lie to me."

"Would I dare? I live in fear of your deadly kicks… and besides that, you do pack a mean punch."

"Idiot…"

"I saw you play _La Campanella_ at the Tilburn."

"You did?"

"Uh huh… It was a magnificent display of speed and technique… you exceeded all my expectations."

"Why didn't you come and find me…? We could have talked."

"Ask me something easier…" He hesitated. "My pride perhaps… I don't know… Or realizing from that moment you hit the first note that you didn't need me – that you could go on without me. It rankled."

"I'm glad you came… and to know that you didn't hate me."

"I could never hate you, Nodame, even if you did drive me crazy in those early years." He paused for a moment. "No, I didn't hate you. Not then, not now."

"Then why did you stay away so long?"

"I think I was in conflict."

"Over what?"

"Over you… I had never known anyone like you. And even when I got used to you, I was never sure what it was that we had. It was only when you were out of my life that I realized how much you were a part of it. A very important part. By then, it was too late. Or at least I thought it was…"

"But senpai, I have nothing to offer you now…"

"The only thing I want from you is to hear you play for the rest of my life."

Nodame coughed again before answering. "In my present condition, that is going to be a tall order."

"Not for you, Nodame. And not that you need me... but I will be there with you every step of the way."

* * *

She was still asleep when Chiaki got up and left the room as quietly as he could. He noticed that Nodame's parents were sitting at the table and having breakfast. He acknowledged them and took a seat with them. 

"Is she still sleeping?" Mrs Noda asked, inquisitive about what had transpired the previous night.

"Yes…" Chiaki said briefly. "I'm glad that you're here. There's something I want to speak to both of you about."

"Oh, yes…?" They looked at him expectantly.

"It's about Nodame."

"Is everything alright with you two?"

"That's what I want to talk you about. I wish to marry your daughter."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_I hope and pray that you like this chapter… everything I've written before has been to lead up to this point. Initially chapters 10 and 11 were meant to be a single chapter but two paragraphs in, it became rather unwieldy. I thought it was best just to separate them. But then 11 just got longer and longer and longer…_

**YDKM:** _You're right in thinking that the first convo between Chiaki and Nodame was "weird". It was deliberately written to give an unsatisfactory feeling. I hope I managed to achieve that._

**Ebony:** _I'm not sure if this is the juicy bit you were expecting… but here it is… ten chapters later._

**Tacitus:** _What can I say? You make a lot of sense and show great insight in your comments. That rushed feeling you mentioned is for the most part, deliberate… one for practical purposes (I'm driving my family crazy with my preoccupation with this story) and the other, is an attempt to create a sense of urgency. If I haven't done so effectively, I daresay it is a result of the shortcomings in my writing skills. But that's what I'm here for, to learn and to find my niche._

_You'll be glad to know though, that the story does slow down a little from here, mainly because it is much more Chiaki/Nodame focused. Still, I do agree that jumping around from one thing to the next probably does little for overall cohesion which I've tried to work hard on in 11._

**Quadrono:** _Thanks for your interest in the story and taking time to review. I definitely think we could do with a lot more Nodame fics but I'm beginning to understand why more people don't do it. It has a way of taking over your life! And the amount of research… although I haven't had to do as much for this one as I had to for A Roman Holiday._


	12. Chapter 12: Poco a poco

**Chapter 12: Poco a poco**

"Can I look now?"

"Not yet… be patient… just a few more steps."

"Senpai… you're being unusually mysterious."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are. Should I be worried?"

"Only if the prospect of leaving your parents' home worries you."

Chiaki had come to the house in the morning bursting with boyish enthusiasm. He told her that he had a surprise waiting somewhere but she wasn't to look until they got to a certain place. The result was that Nodame allowed herself to be blind-folded, led into a vehicle, most likely a car and brought to goodness-knows where. Chiaki had been extremely secretive, saying very little and when he did speak, he sounded vaguely nervous. This aroused Nodame's curiosity no end. Where was he taking her to and what could he possibly be nervous about? Still, he was being surprisingly spontaneous and Nodame believed earnestly that this new aspect to Chiaki should be encouraged so she gave herself over to the undertaking whatever the outcome. She hadn't felt this excited for quite some time and marveled at the changes that she was witnessing in Chiaki. It was so good to have him back by her side, it gave her something to hope for. Nonetheless, there was also much to regret about… and nothing saddened her more than to know that they spent the last five years growing without one another.

He had been back in Okawa for 10 days mostly spending the evenings with the Nodas. During the day, however, he disappeared for several hours, citing personal business as the reason for his absence. Like clockwork, he was out at 8:30 each day and returned at 6. On his return, he would sit down to dinner with the family and kept a close eye on Nodame and made doubly sure that she was eating properly. Indeed, according to her parents, her appetite had improved considerably since his second visit.

"Alright, you can take the blindfold off now."

With the blindfold promptly removed, Nodame opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings. The room they were standing in was simply furnished and exuded a wonderful serenity. A sofa bed and a couple of bookcases lined the walls but the centerpiece of the room as far as Nodame was concerned was the Bosendorfer 200. She immediately strolled up to it and admired its body work and rich, dark tone.

"I found someone in Tokyo who wanted to sell it. I thought it is rather more suited to your playing style…" Chiaki dug his hands into his pockets to hide his quivering hands. "I… er… waited for it to arrive before bringing you here. It was hell to transport though."

"I can imagine. It's gorgeous…but…" There was more she wanted to say but he cut her off unceremoniously.

"I'm glad you think so. You may wish to choose the rest of the furniture later when we move in." Chiaki said offhandedly. "But no clutter. You know how much I hate clutter."

_Clutter? Choosing furniture? What's senpai going on about?_ Nodame felt as if she peering through a haze but allowed herself to be led around like a rag doll. Needless to say, her head was filled with a whole host of questions. What was this place? And why was senpai talking like they were going to live in it?

In the background, Chiaki was rattling off information like a real estate agent, discussing the room's aspect and the direction of breezes flowing in and out of the house. He proceeded to point out the kitchen and the bathroom, going through in some detail the technical specifications of the rooms, all of which were lost on Nodame. Evidently he was giving Nodame the grand tour of the house with the expectation that both of them would be living in it. Chiaki, however, was acting very strangely… agitated almost. Little by little, it became apparent that his nerves were wearing thin.

"This is going to be our room. I'm sorry I couldn't get the blinds in sooner but they had to be custom made. The bed will go in the middle here most probably unless you think it is better against the wall but I think the middle's best don't you? At least we won't disturb each other if one of us has to get up in the middle of the night."

Nodame nodded like an obedient school girl but she still had no idea what was going on. Apparently, this was her future home… something that she had no knowledge of until this point in time. And senpai, it would seem, couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"There are three other rooms in this house. One will be the study and the others will be for the children." The last part of the sentence was suspiciously muffled.

Unfortunately for him, it did not escape Nodame's well-trained ears. "Children?" She looked puzzled. "What children?"

"Ours… what other children could I be talking about." Chiaki was doing his best to pretend that they were having a perfectly normal conversation.

"But we don't have any children." Nodame's face was a picture of confusion.

"Not yet…" was all Chiaki could mumble.

"Senpai… erm… what's going on? What is this place?"

"It's my… er… our home."

"It is? Since when?"

"Since last Saturday. Don't you like it?" He noticed the scrounged up look on her face.

"I love it but…" Chiaki looked relieved. "But senpai, are you asking me to move in with you?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"When?"

"Whenever you wish." Chiaki swallowed hard before adding, "Or after the wedding." Apparently Chiaki was having difficulty articulating key words on this occasion.

"What wedding?" Nodame, on the other hand, had little trouble picking up on them.

"Er… our wedding?" From the way he said it, it was phrased more like a question.

"Senpai…" As the truth dawned on her and the facts all added up, she turned to him astounded. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"

Nodame knew that this was as close to a marriage proposal as she was going to get. But something troubled her. Although she had envisaged this moment for as long as she could remember, she was now plagued with doubts and a nagging feeling that Chiaki was doing all this from an overdeveloped sense of guilt and obligation.

Chiaki said nothing but he was looking at her intently, anxious to know her feelings. She averted her eyes and then turned to face another direction.

"What's wrong, Nodame?" His heart ached for fear that she would turn him down. "Does that idea repulse you?"

"Not at all." She spoke below a whisper. "I… It's such a lovely house… rather large for two people…"

"What are you trying to say?" Chiaki asked with a note of impatience.

"Senpai, why do you want to marry me?"

"What do you mean by 'why'? Why do people get married?"

"I'm not asking about other people, I'm asking you." She spoke quietly but firmly, and turned to meet his eyes head on, as if hoping to find answers there.

"I… we… you've waited a long time and I thought that this is as good a time as any." He was groping around for the appropriate words.

"Is that all?" She looked away and Chiaki could feel her drifting away. _I'm losing her again._

"Nodame, what do you want me to say? Were you expecting something more dramatic?"

"No, senpai… no. That's not it." The tears were already trickling down her face.

Chiaki was flummoxed but he moved to face her. Now that he could see them, his hands reached for the tears, his fingers brushing lightly against them.

"I've upset you. Five years later, and I still don't know how to make you happy." He said with more than a tinge of frustration.

"I'm happy that you're here." She reassured him.

"Then what's wrong? I thought you'd be happy. I thought that this is what you wanted."

"I've changed, Shinichi. I'm not the child I once was."

"Really? Who tried to kill me the other day?" He said in an attempt at some levity. But seeing her face, he sobered. "I know you're not. You've been through so much. But have you changed your mind about us?" He added tentatively.

"Yes…" His heart sank. _Too little too late._ "And no..." He looked at her curiously.

"You're speaking in riddles, Nodame."

"What about the New York Phil, your life in America and… Miss Rothwell?"

This had been the part he feared the most, that she would bring all this up. He didn't want her to know about the price he'd had to pay to be there, by her side. To see it through to whatever end. It had been a price he had been more than willing to pay. It was his penance but he had taken it upon himself wholeheartedly.

"There is no America, no New York Phil and no Miss Rothwell."

"Why?" She demanded.

"Do you still need to ask?" He put his arms around her and drew her in.

"But the New York Phil! It was your dream."

"It was _our_ dream, remember? You and I performing a concerto together… the golden pair. One of the many fun things we were going to do together."

"You remembered?" She looked amazed.

"What do you take me for? Of course I remembered. I'm not a complete villain as all that."

"But it's the New York Phil… no one turns down the New York Phil."

"I did." Chiaki said quietly.

"Why?"

To his credit, Chiaki was beginning to understand what she was driving at. Somehow, it was important for her to know. "For you… for us…"

"But that's crazy."

"Is it? Well, that's what happens when one comes under the influence of mad individuals for too long." _You, my mother, Streseman, Viera, Mine…_

"I can't let you do this."

"It's done and there's no going back." He said calmly.

"No regrets?"

"None that I can't live with. Besides, it's just as likely that I'd turn completely insane over in New York wondering how you are anyway. This is the preferable alternative." He said sounding a touch flippant.

"Don't joke, senpai." She nudged him in the ribs. "Are you sure?" She scrutinized his face.

"Surer than I have ever been about anything."

"You've changed…"

"I can't let you have all the fun. One can't stay stagnant either. Also I've had 10 years to think about this. Not everyone gets this kind of chance."

"Even after all this time, you still want to be with me?"

"Especially after all this time. Sometimes I wonder how I managed the last five years without you." There was an unmistakable grimness in his voice.

"I doubt that." Nodame wished she could be more certain… that he was doing this for the best reasons.

He could see the doubt in her eyes."So what else can an out of work conductor do to convince a retired pianist that she should marry him?"

"Shinichi, I may not survive long enough…"

"Which is why we should do this sooner rather than later. I've kept you waiting long enough haven't I?"

"You don't know what you're asking… Watching someone you love die… slowly… watching their life slowly slipping away… is the worst possible thing anyone can face. I wouldn't even wish it on my enemies, much less you."

"So is this what it's really about?" The emotion in his voice thickened. "You don't think I can handle it."

"I just don't want you to stay because you feel like you have to… it won't be enough when things start to fall apart."

"Do you really believe that I'm doing this out of some mistaken sense of obligation?" He was indignant now.

"Are you?"

"How can you even think that?"

"I don't know what to think… you thought I was cheating on you… remember? You never allowed me inside your mind and your heart. I was just some stray that overstayed her welcome and you just got used to having me around.

"I still don't know how you feel about me even now. You could be doing all this just because you feel guilty about the past. Don't be senpai. My feelings for you have never changed but I need to know what yours are."

Her words hit a nerve and yet he knew that he had only himself to blame for how things turned out. She was right. Even in all the years they were in Europe, he never told her how he felt. He compartmentalized her and placed her in a pigeonhole labeled "hobby" that he attended to in his spare time. Not once did he tell her or showed her how important she was in his life. Francois was never the issue… he was.

Chiaki turned away and strode to the nearest window. Looking out, he stood there for what seemed to both of them, to be a very long time. The tranquil surroundings served as a salve to his bruised pride as well as a soundingboard to the voices of his own heart.

"No, not guilt, Nodame." He whispered. "Not that. I've been so selfish. I've presumed to know what you want but I don't really, do I? Maybe it seems like I'm pretending that the last five years never existed."

"Shinichi…"

He was speaking in a monotone. "I don't know if I really believed that time that you were capable of being unfaithful to me. I was probably more angry by the fact that you weren't waiting for me to come home to. Maybe I was really jealous because I realized that you didn't need me and I needed you to need me."

She went over to him and slipped her arms around him from behind.

"What do you want, Nodame?" His voice could only be heard by her.

"I just want you to love me. It's all I've ever wanted."

* * *

He was leaning against the wall and she was lying on his lap contentedly. There had been words, kisses, tears… and then more kisses and more tears. Fatigued, they had taken refuge on the bare, parquet floor, utterly worn down by passion and happiness with a newfound intimacy between them. 

She got up from her reclining position and sidled up to him, resting her head on his shoulders.

"Shinichi…"

"Don't speak now…" He put a finger over her lips. "Before you give me your answer, there is something I want you to have… Something I wanted to give you five years ago. Something I should have given you seven years ago. But I was foolish and frightened then. It contains all my hopes and wishes. I was hoping to give it to you as a wedding present but I think perhaps that might be too late.

There's a shop nearby that sells ramen. I'll go get us some while you have some time to yourself.

If this gift doesn't convince you of my sincerity than all my words will be meaningless."

He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a velvet box that had been long in his keeping. Placing it gently on the palm of her left hand, he placed her right hand over it. Now that his most prized possession was finally safe in her hands, a weight fell off his shoulders.

Before leaving, he leaned over and their lips met briefly. He rose to leave and gave her smile before disappearing down the genkan and out of sight.

Full of anticipation, Nodame opened the velvet box and immediately the tears welled up. As they rolled down her already damp cheeks, she broke into a sob. The sob turned into a series of uncontrollable sobs. For the next ten minutes, she sat there weeping… for the last five years and for an unknown future.

"My Three Blind Cats… you've come back to me at last."


	13. Chapter 13: Scherzando

**Chapter 13: Scherzando**

_In other news. From the classical music world, we bring you news of a surprise wedding. Former conductor of the New York Chamber Orchestra, Shinichi Chiaki and piano virtusos, Megumi Noda tied the knot today in their home in Kyushu, Japan. The pianist who only recently announced her retirement surprised friends and family by announcing her engagement to the handsome conductor, who had up till recently been linked with cellist, Marian Rothwell, also a member of the New York Chamber Orchestra. Inside sources say that the couple who have been friends since their music academy days in Tokyo had not seen one another for five years. Through a chance meeting in New York, they were reunited and romance ensued. Chiaki was rumoured to have been on the shortlist for the position of principal conductor of the New York Philharmonic when Nicholas Stanton retires this season. Only close friends and family were invited to this rather low-key affair._

_No member of the media was invited to participate._

Dan Rothwell pressed the off button on his remote and gave the merest hint of a smile. He had been so engrossed in this news item that he had not noticed that his only daughter had been standing behind him.

"Why didn't you go, Dad?"

"Oh, I just thought that my little girl might need me."

"I'm not that little, Dad. I can take care of myself."

"I know… I know I'm a poor substitute for your mother… but still, if you need to talk…"

He patted the seat next to him, gesturing for her to sit with him. She assented and collapsed onto the sofa. Her usually beautiful face was marked by tear stains and lines of weariness.

"They were talking about it at rehearsal today. Feeling sorry for me, I suppose. Henceforth I shall be known as 'she-who-was-dumped-for-the-ex'. I'm thinking of hiding out in Antarctica until the whole thing blows over."

"I guess your old man didn't help much."

"It's nobody's fault. Lucky me, I guess, at the wrong place, at the wrong time. But it probably wouldn't have worked out between us anyway."

"How so?"

"I liked him a lot and I think he liked me too. But there were places in him that I couldn't connect to. I thought it was some male, Japanese thing at first. But more and more I became aware that it was something much more personal."

"He never talked about her?"

"Not really. Except in a professional capacity. I never thought… she just didn't seem like his type. But of course when you think about what a brilliant pianist she is, it makes a lot of sense."

"They attended the same music academy and then went to France together, did you know that?"

"What happened?"

"A misunderstanding, bruised pride… the usual sort of thing."

"He's not a bad person, Dad but he just didn't know his own mind. Hard to imagine… someone like that so driven… and such a perfectionist."

"Often those are the worst ones – there's usually some compelling reason why they bury themselves in their work."

"So I should start dating couch potatoes and underachievers now?"

"You're a smart and attractive young woman – you know what you want."

"But the question is: Will they want me?"

"Are you going to be alright?"

" 'Men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them… but not for love.' Yeah, Dad, I'll be fine. But today… not so much."

Rothwell put his arms around his daughter and gave her a peck on the forehead.

"I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Dad. So when are you flying out to Japan?"

"Next week."

* * *

Streseman downed his fourth glass of brandy. The first as a silent toast to the auspicious occasion. The second in celebration of good spirits (of the alcoholic variety). The third because he could. The fourth because the brandy seemed to taste better with every passing moment. He was glad for her. He was glad to see the snap and sparkle back in her eyes. She deserved to be happy. Chiaki, on the other hand… The less said about that the better. Still he gave up the NY Phil to be near her. That should count for something. Even in his semi-drunken state he was still lucid enough to know that these two would make a formidable pair someday. If they would just get their act together… At least, for now, they were taking steps in the right direction. 

_I guess there is some justice in this world, after all. Although you did take your time._ He muttered peevishly to an unknown deity.

A voice in the background rudely interrupted his happy hour.

"Milch, I'm so glad to see you. We weren't sure if you would come."

"My dear girl, I wouldn't have missed it for all the women in China."

"Well, that must be a first. The great Franz Streseman… foregoing women to attend a wedding that's not his own. Milch, I'm honoured."

"Don't get too excited. Oliver is taking me to a host club later in Fukuoka. This is just a stopover."

"Of course." Nodame gave him a knowing wink.

"You look happy, my dear girl."

"I am, Milch, I am."

"Treating you properly, is he?"

"Like a queen." She assured him.

"I'm so glad, Nodame. After all that you've been through, you deserve every bit of happiness." Streseman appeared to be in a sentimental frame of mind. "Tell me something though… have you two done the deed? You know…"

"Done the deed?" It took Nodame a few moments to digest this piece of euphemism while trying to decipher Streseman's vain attempts at producing the right gestures to illustrate his point. "Milch! You don't really expect me to answer that question, do you?"

"Why not? Send Chiaki over and I can give him a few pointers…" He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially.

"Nope… absolutely not." Nodame rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Friend or no friend. You are the last person I would want Shinichi to consult about such matters."

"My experience should count for something, right?" He slurred persistently.

"Your experience?" She exclaimed flabbergasted. "Have a few more drinks, Milch. You make a lot more sense when you're drunk."

"Gladly… my dear… gladly."

* * *

"Relax Shinichi, everything looks great. The bride looks lovely… the house looks amazing and the food tastes marvellous. Everything's going well and everything will be alright." 

"I guess so…" Shinichi felt the tension in his shoulder muscles relax a little. "I wonder how people survive weddings."

"They don't always but it's only one day in a lifetime of challenges." was his mother's thoughtful answer.

"Aren't you supposed to be encouraging?" He turned to his mother, exaggerating his dismay at her words.

"You asked." His mother smiled indulgently. "I know I've said this a dozen times already but I am really glad, Shinichi."

"I guess I'm finally doing something right by her. It's been a long, hard road."

"She wanted it to be your choice too."

"Why couldn't I see it? It was staring me in the face the entire time."

"You're human just like the rest of us, son. Sometimes we need a little distance and perhaps a little time as well to find our way."

"I wasted so much time dragging my feet… if only I had…"

"If only is such a wonderful phrase to throw around when you have the benefit of hindsight. Don't waste more time on regrets. It's not worth it. Everything happens for a reason… everything has its time and place." She hesitated when she noticed a change in his facial expression… as if he had been struck by lightning. "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing… someone asked me only recently if I believed that everything happens for a reason."

"What did you say?"

"I said I hadn't given it much thought… that I didn't know what I believed."

"And now?"

"I don't know, mum. If things continue to go the way they have, I could become a convert."

* * *

"Isn't it wonderful, husband… our daughter is finally married…" 

"I don't mind what she does as long as she's happy. I'm just relieved that she's finally made up her mind to get treatment."

"I wonder if she'll be able to have children."

The husband sighed. "Is that all you think about?"

The wife, oblivious to her husband's gentle reprimand, continued in the same vein of thought. "Wouldn't it be great if they had a girl and a boy? I could sew all their play clothes. I just saw a great pattern for a little girl's dress the other day…"

* * *

Chiaki breathed a sigh of relief when their final guests made their way to their cars. Everyone had now gone, leaving behind a welcomed silence. He sent Nodame to bed and started to tidy up around the house. But like an overtired child who has had too much excitement, Nodame refused to go to bed… instead disappearing into the back garden. He caught a glimpse of her from the kitchen window and dropped everything he was doing, making his way to the garden also. 

He watched her glide across the lawn in her beige, chiffon dress almost soundlessly, save for the rustling of her beaded hemline as it brushed against each blade of grass. They were celebrating the start of their life together but nothing would stay more firmly entrenched in his mind than this sacred vision of her. Not the happy faces of well-wishers, not the simple ceremony in which they exchanged their vows, nor the tinkling of glasses as the guests raised their glasses to toast the happy pair. But the sight of her basking under the glow of the moonlight – her pale skin glistening under the moonbeams, giving her an ethereal aura. Every flower, every leaf stood to attention as she swept past them giving each her gentle touch.

"I'm not looking forward to leaving this place. It's so peaceful here."

"It'll only be for a month while you undergo treatment."

"I know and yet… Anyhow, it will give me something to look forward to."

"Is everything alright?" He asked, noticing her change of mood.

"It's such a lovely house. I hate to leave it. I'm so glad that we decided to have the wedding here." She was clearly worn out but for his benefit, tried to put on a cheerful face.

"I'm just relieved that you were satisfied with a small wedding."

"I'm happy that we're finally together… that's all that matters to me now. Although I'm a little disappointed that we'll be spending our honeymoon in a hospital in Tokyo."

"It couldn't be helped. There will be other opportunities later."

"Are you really alright with it?"

"Haven't we been through this already? I am perfectly satisfied. Our priority now is to get you better first and that means more to me now than some holiday by the beach. Besides, we have a few more days to ourselves here in this house."

"Shinichi, you've given up so much for my sake. I don't think…"

"Don't be ridiculous…" He broke in abruptly. "Are you still thinking about that? I haven't given up anything. I want to be here. It's my choice."

"If I hadn't fallen ill, you wouldn't have…" She began mournfully.

He cut her off quickly. "If you hadn't fallen ill, I wouldn't have known what an idiot I've been all this time. The entire situation forced me to listen to my heart. I've wasted five years watching you from the sidelines and that's been five years too long."

He reached her hand and brought her to his side. They locked lips all too briefly. "My dearest… don't fret. There's only one Megumi Noda. And I'd rather hear her playing in the comfort our living room than stand on the podium conducting the New York Phil, wondering at every performance if I'll ever perform a concerto with her."

She nestled herself sleepily against him while he wrapped her in his arms. She muttered something that sounded like "I love you too Chiaki Shinichi…" before falling soundly off to sleep.

* * *

Chiaki woke with a start and immediately sensed that something was wrong. The space beside him on the bed was unoccupied. _Nodame? Where has that idiot gone off to?_

He got up immediately, giving the clock beside him a brief glance. Half-past three. _What does she think she's doing up at this time of night? I thought she was exhausted._

Searching the house, he soon realized that his missing bride was no where to be seen. Just as he was about to pick up the phone to call the police, he heard a humming noise from the back garden. He put the phone back on the hook and went to investigate. Someone was humming to the tune of the Emperor's Waltz. It was Nodame… wearing naught but a satin negligee, dancing with an imaginary partner to the beat of the waltz. _Idiot. She's going to catch a cold with that on, at this time of night._ Nodame, however, seemed unperturbed by the chill of the night air.

There was something hypnotic about her graceful movements under the moonlight and he was a man enchanted. He couldn't help but admire her figure as her slender curves were accentuated by the light of the moon on the satin's sheen. So mesmerized was he that he had forgotten the cold.

Chiaki snapped out of his reverie as he felt the bite of a passing breeze wash past him. He strode up to the dancing Nodame who nimbly eluded his arms.

"Come on, Nodame… you're going to catch a cold out here. It's three-thirty in the morning. You should be in bed."

His counsel, however, went unheeded. After several futile attempts to get her attention, it seemed as if the dance had possessed her. A flash of inspiration suggested to him that perhaps by entering into the dance with her he could he break the spell. _I can't believe that I'm even thinking about doing this._

He walked up to her and said in his most authoritative voice.

"Madam, could I have the honour of having this dance?"

As if on cue, she nodded and allowed herself to be taken. His arm round her waist and her arm automatically went to his shoulder. Nodame had always beat to a different drummer but tonight, he would beat to hers.

_Is she awake or asleep? Either way, she's doing very well. Those dancing lessons really did pay off._

Their waltz came to an abrupt end when Nodame came to a screeching halt as if she had woken up from a long sleep.

"Senpai… it's you."

"Yes, it's me."

"What are we doing?"

"Doing a waltz… working up a sweat… What does it look like we're doing?"

"Really? I thought I was at the masquerade ball, dancing with a handsome stranger."

"Nope… it was just me…"

"I've forgotten what a great dancer you are." She commented thoughtfully.

"You're not too bad yourself. Francois was a good teacher."

"He was. But I doubt he'd look this good in boxer shorts." Nodame gave a little giggle, ogling at the bottom half of Chiaki's fine figure.

"I'm just relieved that he didn't see you wearing this." Chiaki remarked, pointing to the negligee.

"Why… what's wrong with it? Doesn't it look nice?" She gave a little twirl to show it off.

Chiaki gave out a sound that resembled a grunt. "Too nice. Leaves little to the imagination."

"Chiaki Shinichi!" Nodame exclaimed in feigned aversion. "Underneath your veneer of respectability, you're just a _hentai_."

"Who's calling who a _hentai_?" Came the indignant rejoinder. "Anyway, I'm your husband now, it's my… er… prerogative to… er… look." Chiaki said gruffly, averting his eyes slightly.

"Then why aren't you looking?" There was a mischievous glint in her eye. "Hmmm… Well, if you hate it that much, I should just take it off." She said slyly, pushing down her shoulder straps and letting them fall."

"Not here!" Chiaki blushed bright red in consternation and quickly grabbed onto both of her arms. "What if the neighbours see you?" He looked surreptitiously around to see if anyone was looking and let out a groan. "I have definitely married a _hentai_."

She managed to slip her arms out of his grasp and flung them around his neck. Pulling him down closer towards her, she promptly went for his lips, deepening the kiss, leaving him breathless and in no doubt of her intentions.

"If it makes you more comfortable, we can take this inside." She whispered seductively. "And once we're inside.. you can teach me the waltz of love and dance to the music we make." She gave him a wicked wink.

"In all seriousness, are you sure you want to do this now? You've had such a long day and you did fall asleep in my arms earlier." He looked at her intently. "You don't have to… it doesn't matter to me when…" He said haltingly, wide eyed with desire.

This time she took both his hands and dragged him into the house. "Chiaki Shinichi… sometimes you talk too much…"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Apologies for thaking tho long. I thad a beery bad kold.


	14. Chapter 14: Piano

**Chapter 14: Piano**

She was having trouble sleeping. She tossed and turned for some time for before finally deciding to get up and raid Chiaki's extensive CD collection. It was the night before their departure for Tokyo and needless to say, she was feeling more than a little on edge.

Taking care not to disturb Chiaki, who appeared to be sound asleep, she tip-toed around the room before heading out the door. It was dark but the moonlight was streaming through the windows so there was no need to for a light to guide her to her intended stop. Her most abiding regret then was that she had begun her acquaintance with the house only to be taking a long journey away from the safety of its four walls. In her mind, to leave it empty for a month was to abandon it and that gave her no joy.

Chiaki had finally gotten around to unpacking his prized library of some the world's best recordings the previous day. Now it was left to her to work her way through them one at a time. Rummaging through the collection, she marveled the choices offered her. Beethoven rubbed shoulders with Bartok, Schumann with Schubert and Shostakovich. There were several recordings of some of his favourites including Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2, Beethoven's symphonies, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, just to name a few. It was a music aficionado's haven.

Glancing through the collection quickly, she observed a group of CDs huddled together in the bottom right-hand corner. They did not appear to be in alphabetical order or any particular sort of order. On closer examination, she could see that they were recordings that she had made over the past 3 years. He had the entire collection… all six… Her eye fell to her favourite, the Rach 3 recording that she had made with the London Symphony Orchestra on Side A. From the creases and scuff marks on the cover sleeve, she could tell that it was one that he cared about. Nodame forced a smile remembering the emotional battle she had with this one… a particularly bad bout of depression which followed later. Not surprisingly, it had been her best selling CD. But it had exacted a high price. She hadn't been able to touch the piano for an entire month afterwards.

To know now that he had been in some distant place listening to it was gratifying. She wondered if he heard her pain… her melancholy…

_That stubborn idiot… He could have made it easier on the both of us…_

She pulled out every one of the recordings and each one told the same story… each one dated, and listened to often. _Were you hiding in here, when I was out there wondering where you were? Hiding in my music._

As she placed each one back on the shelf, the irregular shape of a black note book leaning against the back, caught her eye. Immediately, her curiosity was aroused. As she took it out of its hiding place, she observed that there was nothing to indicate what the notebook contained. _Probably some old compositions that he had been working on…_ Her interest, however, was piqued further by some pencil markings in the bottom corner. Whatever she thought it might be, nothing prepared her for what she saw. Much of what she saw, she saw through a veil of tears. Memories of what had been… he had kept them… many of which she had forgotten about. Memories that she had thought he had left behind for good. But there was more… Her achievements of the past five years… chronicled through newspaper cuttings. Tickets to her performances… he kept them all. _That sentimental idiot… he's worse than me… and all this time I thought he was clueless._

Even after all this time the man was unfathomable. To know that he never stopped caring for her was the greatest gift he would give her and yet he hid it like a guilty secret. During their twenties it was she that pursued him relentlessly and yet despite all his pretence to the contrary, he did love her… in a standoffish, disapproving sort of way. Occasionally, there were these odd bursts of affection that seem to come from no where… a kiss here and a touch there but he seemed scandalized by any public display of ardour on her part. Still she always held on to the hope that his care for her was more than just a kind of paternalistic benevolence, especially from someone whose vocabulary did not seem to include the word "love". Was she merely Galatea to his Pygmalion? The beggar maid to Cophetua? Perhaps it was their individual misfortune to fall for one another but then how else would either of them learn that love comes in the most unexpected packages.

Caught up in her reverie, she almost missed the sound of footsteps approaching from a distance. In nick of time, she returned the scrapbook to its hiding place and turned her attention to the CDs in front of her. Although they had made strides in their relationship, she wisely reflected that he might not be ready to give up all his secrets.

"Couldn't sleep?" He yawned.

"No…"

"Nervous about tomorrow?"

"A little." She brushed off her anxiety for his benefit. "Mostly it's because you snore like an earthquake." She added to deflect his attention from probing further.

"I do not. I don't even snore. You're the one that snores."

"Sure you do. Even in Paris. Anyway, I've got proof."

"Really." His tired eyes had a look cynicism about them. "What is this proof that you're talking about?"

Without saying a word, Nodame got up and went into the bedroom. Several instances of mysterious clanking and shuffling later, she came out waving a digital video camera.

"What's this? " Chiaki alternated between exasperated looks at Nodame and curiosity about the contents in the camera.

"Proof." was all the information she volunteered.

"You videoed me sleeping?" He was wide awake now. "Let me see that!" He demanded irritably, his arms flailing in her direction.

"This is for my eyes only." She said in complete solemnity, tucking the camera behind her back for safety.

"How do I know that you're not just pulling my leg?"

"You don't."

"But why? You want something from me, don't you? In many civilized societies it is called 'blackmail'."

"Blackmail? Why should I want to blackmail you? We're already husband and wife." She looked at him genuinely baffled.

"Then why video me asleep? Why weren't you asleep as well?" He eyed her suspiciously. "I wasn't in any state of undress, was I?"

"The video is for when I'm alone at the hospital… when you're not there during the nights." She reasoned.

He felt a twinge or two of guilt. "Nodame, if you want me to stay with you during the nights…"

"No, no… it's okay. I'll be fine. You're not good to anyone run down. You need your sleep." She tried to allay his concerns. "Especially, if you're teaching classes at Momogaoka as well."

"I thought you were alright with that."

"I am… of course, I am…" She interjected quickly. "But it pays to be prepared." She flashed him a knowing smile.

"So you're not going to show the video to anyone?" He asked adamantly, not entirely convinced.

"Who do you think I am? I have already said… it's for my eyes only." She reiterated in no uncertain terms. "I'm not that interested in sharing you with anyone anyway."

"You're quite mad, you know that don't you?"

"Me?" She fluttered her eyelashes innocently. "No way… I'm just mad about you… and there's no cure for that apparently."

Her statement had the intended effect. She rendered him speechless and they took a moment to embrace. Speech seemed almost meaningless when a kiss or a touch would speak a thousand words. It would be a moment or two before either felt the need to speak again.

"Nodame, was there something in particular you were looking for?"

"Just browsing… I got bored of not being able to sleep. You collection has really expanded in the last five years."

"I had too much time on my hands. Comes from not having anyone to cook for or someone to pick up after."

"Next thing you'll be telling me that you missed my slovenly habits." She twittered familiarly.

"I missed the trail of things you left everywhere… the Puri-Gorota videos, the week old laundry and even the half-eaten _natto_."

"I am shocked… Chiaki… you're slackening in your old age." She teased.

He continued to speak as if he had not heard her. "The person who made them was missing from my life. She was no longer a feature in my life and that left an inescapable void. There was no running from it. The music had gone with her."

"Shinichi… my recordings…"

"It was my way of holding on to her. For just a little while longer… Foolish, wasn't it?"

"Foolish? No. Romantic? Yes."

"Me? Romantic?" He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't have a single romantic bone in my body."

"Oh, I don't know. That is quite some body you have there. And so far it has performed rather satisfactorily in the romance department." She acknowledged cheekily.

"Really?" He cast about for a cushion and flung one playfully in her direction. She caught it deftly and fell flat onto the floor. Her raucous laughter turned to coughing and an unnatural breathlessness.

"Nodame… are you alright?" He looked over her anxiously and propped her up against his chest.

She shook her head. "Shinichi… I'm scared… Especially now… when things are so good between us. It was easier when I thought I had nothing to lose."

He embraced her with greater earnestness to reassure her and himself.

"I know… there's a part of me that is also uneasy about the future…"

"My grandmother… I'm sure your mother told you about that…"

"Not the details… and only very recently…"

"When I came back from Paris, she was already so far gone that she was just a shell of what she was. The woman I had loved and known my entire life was slipping further and further… She hardly knew me."

"I'm so sorry… I should've been there for you."

"In a way, it was probably harder for us than it was for her…"

"I won't abandon ship if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not… I know you'll stand by me."

"What is it, then?" He asked, noticing the hesitation.

"I want us to have a long and normal life together."

"There's nothing normal about you…"

She nudged him in the ribs. "You know what I mean."

"What can I say? None of us know the future… we can only take it one day at a time. And as for us having a normal life… I gave up on 'normal' years ago. A life with Noda Megumi will never be normal."

"I just want to be able to be a wife to you, for us to perform together and maybe even have…" There was a notable quiver in her voice.

"It's okay… we can worry about that later. For now, the most important thing is the treatment… a lot rests on that."

"It's all your fault, Chiaki Shinichi… why couldn't you have left well alone and let me shrivel up and die on my own. Now, you've given me hope and a desire to live… I would hate to be disappointed."

"Have I disappointed you so far…?"

"Well, no… I can't say that you have…"

"Give me a chance to prove that we can have some kind of life together… I can't guarantee 'normal' though… That's out of my hands." He gave her a consoling smile. "Besides, I have a vested interest in all of this as well."

"What kind of vested interest?"

"I don't think I can live without your music."

"Flattery… Mr Chiaki…?"

"I wish… The last five years was hell. I learnt the hard way what it's like to be furious with someone and to want them all at the same time. Your recordings were my lifeline when I wanted to remember how things were. But it was nothing like watching you perform live. The day you took the Chopin prize… I…" His voice faded off on its own… unused to bearing the weight of so much emotion.

Nodame made no reply. Instead, she got up and made her way to the Bosendorfer. She lifted the lid and ran her fingers lightly across the keys.

"You only have to ask, senpai."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_Just a short one before Christmas, I'm afraid. I wanted to have a kind of transitory chapter that would link the previous chapter with the next. However, life is supremely busy and I doubt that I will be able to update anytime before the new year. As is, I am really behind in my preparations for the festive season._

_Are we excited about the Live Action European Special or are we? It does appear that the special will follow the manga a lot more closely than I had anticipated. So far everything sounds good to me._

_**kanachan:**__ I doubt we'll be hearing wedding bells in canon anytime soon. I'm sure Ms Ninomiya is under orders to milk the story for all its worth… plus the truth of the matter is… both Chiaki and Nodame have a lot of issues to work through before they will get there. This is why in all my fics they are always a fair bit older._

_**myzee:**__ I'm still coughing too. Hope you're better soon._

_**S.B.Kisses:**__ Thanks for your support… as always._

_**Kurohana:**__ Did you change your name? I was a little confused there for a while._

_**Melpomene:**__ Thank you for such a detailed review. I'm glad you liked chapter 12. And it's wonderful when someone understands exactly what I'm trying to do.  
_

_**Tacitus 8:**__ Lovely reviews. Thanks for taking the time._

_**ChalakChalak:**__ I am eagerly awaiting the next update to your story. Hint, hint. I decided to use titles this time because I got a bit bored with the usual stuff. Made sense to me to use the Italian terms._

_**Kookie:** You're gorgeous... thank you! _


	15. Chapter 15: Cantabile

**Chapter 15: Cantabile**

_Chopin's Etude Op.10, No.3._ It is said that when Frederic Chopin heard one of his students play this particular composition, he wept openly in memory of the place of his birth, Poland. Chopin himself believed that this piece of music was the most beautiful and most heartfelt of all his works. More than a 150 years later, its melancholic strains would continue to haunt the player and take hold of the listener.

As he walked briskly down the sparse corridors, the sound of this etude reverberated mournfully in Chiaki's ears as he followed the melody to its source.

Chiaki was running late. He had gone to her hospital room before and found a slept-in but empty bed. The attending nurses said that Nodame had complained of boredom and had wandered down to the large recreation room two floors down.

He hated being late especially when the time he had with her was so precious. Although she was responding well to this revolutionary new drug for lymphoma, there was still an underlying fear that things might not go their way.

On this occasion he had overslept due to a particularly late night with his students who were preparing for the annual college revue. It had been one of those days… a day that caused him to seriously reconsider his commitment to the college. Admittedly, he was tired. Commuting back and forth constantly between three places was hardly an ideal situation to be in. But she had badgered him into taking the job, insisting that she wasn't dying yet and she didn't want him hovering around her every minute of the day. Emotionally, it turned out to be a lot harder than he had anticipated, waking alone in a bed meant for two and worrying incessantly about her state of mind. Just from observing her behaviour, he couldn't help but habour strong suspicions that she was putting on a brave face… mostly for his benefit.

As he made his approach, he caught a glimpse of the azure scarf which bobbed behind the piano… then the closed eyes, pursed lips, stooped posture, the familiar sway bending over the Yamaha grand in the corner of the room. Although nicknamed "Tristesse" or sadness… the piece was not played with sorrow but with a deep longing to probe the music's essence. The rubato, on the other hand, demonstrated the player's intense determination to negotiate through a disturbingly dark bend in the road.

She seemed oblivious to his presence as she began again. The second time more intense than the first. It was as if the first had merely been a practice session and the second was the performance. Was she pleading for a second chance at life? Chiaki wondered.

She continued playing uninterrupted. He could never interrupt… particularly at this time, when those moments at the piano were few and far between. He could have stood there forever to match her determination to take on the music but her weary body gave in too soon. Her fingers flagged toward the end of the rubato and the spell was broken. She looked up and broke into a smile.

"Shinichi, you're here. How long have you been standing here?"

"Not long enough."

"You look tired." She remarked concernedly.

"Too many late nights." He responded briefly.

"You should have stayed home and slept in."

"And missed this? Not a chance."

He sat down beside her and immediately her scarf-covered head slipped with practiced ease onto his shoulder.

"How long has it been since you've really played the piano?" She asked him.

"Apart from the odd phrase or measure when I'm teaching… It's been quite a while… probably not since I started with the New York Chamber Orchestra."

"Play something for me then."

"Do my ears deceive me? The great Megumi Noda wants me to play for her?"

"There was a time that you were much better than I was."

"That was a long time ago…"

"Not that long ago… Come on."

"No… and definitely not in public." He said decisively. "I am seriously out of practice."

"Please… anything. I'll even get down on my hands and knees and beg."

Taking this threat seriously, Chiaki spoke urgently. "Don't do that… everyone here will think I'm abusing a patient."

"Well… this patient is pleading desperately… " She shifted away from him and gestured to get up. "It's a matter of life and death."

"Alright, alright…" He assented reluctantly, giving in to threats and entreaty.

Taking a moment to consider, he placed his hands warily on the keys. He wasn't sure why he selected that particular sonata… _Pathetique_… For old times sake, perhaps. To capture as vividly as possible whatever memory he had of the past they shared. It caused him to remember… the dank, musty room, the piles of rubbish which surrounded him as he stirred from his inebriated state. _Capriciosso adagio cantabile._ The first time he had ever heard her play… and then the second… it would be an encounter that would change both their lives forever.

The memories so captivated him that he was soon lost in the music. Any self-consciousness he felt earlier left him, his fingers spontaneously released to maneouvre through the dissonant chords and register changes. He embraced the tenderness of the legato phrases and intensified the animated staccato bass. Glimpses of the joy that he experienced in those early years returned to him.

For her, it would end too soon. A shared experience that would lead to others. The question now was whether there would be many more to come.

He saw the tears in her eyes and knew that they had been absorbed in the same reminisces. Drying her tear-stained cheeks, he tried to lighten the mood. "Was it that bad? I did warn you. I'm out of practice." It had been far too long since he saw her after a performance. The tears were a poignant reminder to him of what he had been missing.

"You remembered."

"Really? What am I suppose to have remembered?" He asked feigning ignorance.

"You know what I mean, Chiaki senpai." She leaned over from behind him and coiled her arms around his to reach for his waist. "You forgot your belt…" She whispered and blew gently past his ear.

* * *

The hospital roof top was an appropriate vantage point from which to survey the metropolitan skyline in its entirety. The skyscrapers had the appearance of majestic sentinels guarding the city, while the smaller buildings seemed watchful of the buzzing population that dotted the landscape. Despite the concrete grandeur that was before her, Nodame was uninterested in its attractions. She was leaning against a wall and hugging her knees, glad of some air, polluted or otherwise. The passing of time meant very little but from time to time she would hum her favourite pieces and make out the odd cloud or two sail by. 

"I'm not staying here a week longer than I have to. Besides I have a wedding to attend."

"It's a precautionary measure… I'm sure Kuroki will understand."

"That may be… but I made a promise and I intend to be there. As it is, I've already been here two weeks longer than what we discussed initially. I just want to go home. Anywhere but here."

Nodame was in one of her uncooperative moods, everything in her demeanour suggested that she was determined to win this argument.

Chiaki sighed. It was pointless trying to reason with her. She had a bee in her bonnet about leaving and there was no talking her out of it. But he had been obliged to try nonetheless. Still, what she said made some sense and there was a part of him which rejoiced at the prospect of having her at home with him.

It wasn't just about attending Kuroki's wedding either. She craved for some normality in their married life that did not involve constant commuting on his part. The rented apartment in Tokyo was not exactly the ideal situation but at least it was a temporary home away from home that didn't include a myriad of medical professionals getting in the way. Dan Rothwell had been a great support and a friend but he had commitments back in the States that he had to return to. Although Nodame was reluctant to add to the weight that Chiaki was already carrying on his own, the hospital was too lonely and quiet a place for her to gain any kind of perspective about the future.

She needed her space… a place where she could interact with the music… bask in its protective glow, reignite the spark before it abandoned her to her own devices.

There was a strain of desperation in her voice. "Shinichi… I need to do this… I can't explain it to you now but I need to do this…"

"You don't have to explain anything…"

"I can't think… I can't breathe…"

"I know… it's okay…"

"I'm afraid… the music is drifting away… and soon I fear it will be out of reach."

"Nodame… it's alright… I understand." So saying, he reached over, cupping her chin, gently put all the weight of his lips on hers.

When he finally pulled away, she looked down.

"If only things were so easily resolved." She said with a touch of bitterness. "I'd rather die than live without the music… I won't be much use to you either."

Chiaki turned to her in anguish. "Is that all you think it is… a marriage of musical minds?"

"Isn't it?" She looked at him sorrowfully. "Would you have even noticed me then?"

Chiaki wanted both to shake her and to take her into his arms. "That was then! Why bring it up now?"

"Chiaki Shinichi… the great musical genius… all the girls in town wanted to make love to him. But he settled for a _hentai_, piano student because she somehow managed to muscle her way through the hoards that was his harem." Her speech seemed rather slurred.

He felt the frustration in him rising. "Don't do this, Nodame… don't try and push me away. It won't work."

"Maybe you should leave… cut your losses. I can't give you what you want."

"That's not what I want and you know that…"

"Do I?"

"I married you, you idiot! How can you think otherwise?"

She closed her eyes and sighed wearily. "I don't know what to think… I'm so tired… It would be much easier to give up."

"Not a chance. I won't let you."

"Why won't you give up on me, Chiaki…"

"Because it means giving up on us and I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Do I have to spell it out, you idiot?" He was on the verge of shouting. _That idiot can be so exasperating._ "It's because I love you… Everything about you… the woman, the music, the determination to succeed at all cost. Isn't it about time you got it into your thick skull that it isn't just about the music?"

She blinked her eyes open in a doll-like fashion. "He's finally said it… I think I can die a happy woman now that Chiaki Shinichi has said that he loves me." She was gradually succumbing to the fatigue that was gripping her.

"No one's dying around here…" Chiaki responded with deliberate sharpness.

"No… I guess not…" There was just a ghost of smile lurking beneath her lips.

* * *

"How do I look…?" Nodame was adjusting the scarf on her head and straightening her dress in front of a full length mirror. 

"For the hundredth time, you look fine. Better than fine actually." Chiaki reassured her. "You've regained your natural colouring."

"I hate having to wear these scarves, they cause my head to itch horribly."

"Well, unless you want to show everyone that you're balding…"

"Hmph…" She threw her overcoat in his face. "I'm not balding… it's just a side effect of the treatment. Some of my hair is already growing back." She shot him an indignant look.

"I don't mind a balding wife actually… makes me feel a lot better about the white hairs in my head that seem to be sprouting with alarming regularity. I feel a lot less older seeing you hairless."

She threw him a playful punch. "When we get home, we'll see who is the one getting older."

He leaned over and whispered slyly. "I look forward to it."

She gave him a nudge in ribs and then took a deep breath. "I've got butterflies in my stomach. It's been months since I've played to a large audience. I hope I haven't forgotten how."

"You'll be fine… just think of me…"

"And that is suppose to help?" She replied sarcastically.

"You _are_ playing _Liebestraume_, aren't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Chiaki." She smiled at the mirror indulgently as he embraced her from behind.

"I wouldn't dare…" He nuzzled his nose against her left ear. "You look great and you are going to dazzle everyone."

"I hope so." She embraced him with all her might and made for the door before she could change her mind.

Despite all her onstage experience, this was the first time that Nodame was playing at a wedding. Her hands and feet were shaking. Mumbling quiet prayers to herself that she wouldn't trip on her new beige gown, she strolled awkwardly across the makeshift platform with her hands firmly at her side. As she walked passed the many heads that filled the large ballroom, she was greeted by a thunderous applause by an eager audience curious by this minor comeback. Once she found her seat at the piano, she lost all her nervousness and gave herself over to the music. _Liebestraume No. 3_. She would now play it with a greater sense of meaning that love's hopes would take many forms and that the journey to realise them would be arduous. However, she could celebrate the fact that she was one of the fortunate ones… that love had returned to her.

The two men in the audience who knew her best, sat entranced and glassy eyed, sharing similar sentiments across the room. _It is as if she has been baptized by fire and come out of it with a new lease on life._

* * *

Nodame felt overwhelmed and relieved at the same time. Her performance had been well-received and she was greeted by a standing ovation as she took her bows. By the time the applause died down, there weren't too many dry eyes in the audience. 

The groom was one of the first to congratulate her on her performance. A good friend… someone who had understood and had offered compassion…

"I do not know what to say, Megumi _chan_… except that it was a deeply moving experience. It will now be the definitive version for me… always…" He gave her a knowing smile. "I don't know too many people who can boast about having a world class pianist play at their wedding."

She returned it. "I am so honoured that you asked me to play at your wedding, Kuroki… and your lovely wife, Naoko too. It was a terrifying experience. I was so afraid that I'd mess it up"

He shook his head. "I had complete confidence in you. I knew that whatever performance you gave, it would be memorable. You haven't lost your touch, Megumi_ chan_. Not at all."

"Kuroki, aren't you going to introduce me?" A deep, raspy voice interrupted the conversation. It came from an older, distinguished looking man, standing next to Kuroki. Nodame had speculated that it was his father or a close relative.

"I apologize for my rudeness… Megumi _chan_, this is Mr Takada Seiji, my boss… the music director of the NHK orchestra."

The man bowed and Nodame did likewise. "So pleased to meet you, sir." She said.

"Ms Noda, I'm sorry that we haven't met before. The pleasure is all mine."

"No, I've never had the privilege of playing with the NHK… I regret to say."

"Actually, that's what I'd like to talk to you about. Both you and Mr Chiaki… if you don't mind… that is, if Kuroki doesn't mind us talking a little business at his wedding."

* * *

The two of them, their arms locked in a semi-embrace, stood outside the balcony of their apartment and gazed at the hazy night sky. Neither could sleep. 

"I can't believe that they've invited me along with you to perform with them. Gyabo! The two of us together on stage… finally…" Her cup was flowing to the brim and she was gushing excitedly.

"It doesn't mean that I'm going to let you off easily… just because you're supposed to be sick and you're my wife." He gave her a stern look.

"Hmph… I don't expect any special treatment… I'm completely ready for the Chiaki regime."

"The Chiaki regime… what Chiaki regime?" He glared at her.

"Five hours straight without a break. Cracking of the whip… barking orders…"

"I expect only the best." His exaggerated austere expression turned into concern. "Are you sure you're ready for this? It'll be hard work… the stress…"

"It's exactly what I need." Her voice rang of confidence and certainty.

"Are you sure?"

"Why… are you afraid to take me on? Afraid that I'll be a handful?" She was baiting him. "Don't worry… I'll be on my best behaviour. But I can't guarantee that I'll do everything you want."

"I know all your habits…" He narrowed his eyes grimly.

"Of course you do… which makes it all the more fun." She giggled and took off to go inside. He could hear her convulsing into exuberant laughter.

Chiaki stood outside for a moment longer and smiled to himself. _What have I let myself in for?_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

_Not too long now people..._

_Special thanks to my loyal reviewers... you inspire me and you have my utmost gratitude. _


	16. Chapter 16: Da Capo

**Chapter 16: Da Capo**

Classical Life: A Special Report

_By Thomas Bright_

_Last night saw the stunning return of Japanese-born pianist, Megumi Noda to the centre stage. The 33 year old, who had announced her retirement over a year ago, made a stunning comeback with the NHK orchestra under the watchful eye of husband and guest conductor, Shinichi Chiaki. Ms Noda had been undergoing extensive treatment for non-Hodgkins Lymphoma before hand which saw both husband and wife slip out of the spotlight for the past year. Although both Chiaki and Noda has had a long personal association, it was their first time performing together publicly. It was evident throughout the programme that their off stage chemistry translated well on stage. The audience was treated to a joyous interpretation of Gershwin's _Rhapsody in Blue_, full of colour and ebullient energy. Despite battling a serious medical condition, there was no obvious sign that Ms Noda was flagging at any time. Clearly, this particular performance was comparable to some of her career best performances prior to her withdrawal from the international music scene. _

_Chiaki, who was previously rumoured to be shortlisted for principal conductorship at the New York Philharmonic, showed once again why he is one of the best conductors of his generation. Although conducting the NHK for the first time, Chiaki's self-confidence and extensive international experience shone through as he led the orchestra through Brahm's _Symphony No.1_, sometimes dubbed Beethoven's "Tenth". Chiaki showed that ten months out of the arena did not dim his ability to captivate the audience. _

_The end of the second act also saw Noda play alongside the orchestra in Rachmaninoff's _Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini_. Consistent with earlier form, the audience was treated to an intimate and nuanced performance. Although not strictly a concerto the piece makes it demands on the piano soloist in a similar fashion to other Rachmaninoff piano concertos. Noda demonstrated her musicianship by effortlessly managing to capture the composer's intent and engaged readily with the shifting variations of the piece. This is where one could speculate that the couple's relationship readily lent itself to the harmonious blend between orchestra and soloist._

_Already some are hailing the couple "The Golden Pair". However, it will be some time before it becomes clear if this partnership will be as fruitful as the one between Jacqueline du Pre and Daniel Barenboim. After last night's performance, critics and music lovers will certainly be watching the progress of this couple very closely._

_Chiaki, Noda and the NHK orchestra will be performing to sell-out crowds for 4 more performances in the Suntory Auditorium in Tokyo._

* * *

"Are you alright?" 

"Better than I've felt for a very long time…"

"I shouldn't have let you do this so soon… a recital at this time…"

"Believe me, it's easier than performing with an orchestra with you at the helm. You are such a dictator."

"Really…" He gave her a dour look.

"You know what the best part of doing a solo performance is?"

"What?"

"It's being able to look down into the crowd and seeing you among the sea of faces."

"Nodame…"

"That was the thing I missed the most…"

"I… I should have… I wanted to…" He felt a lump rising in his throat. "I lacked the courage." He faltered.

"Shhh… no more self-recrimination… I'm just glad that you're here now."

"As am I…"

* * *

Piano Times: The Return of a Virtuoso

_By Elizabeth Read_

_The biggest story to come out of the classical music world this year is most likely the heroic return of Japanese virtuoso, Megumi Noda, to the performing spotlight. Diagnosed over eighteen months earlier with a strain of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, the pianist retired quietly from the public eye to receive treatment and to recuperate in her hometown in Kyushu, Japan. During this time, Noda also married conducting talent, Shinichi Chiaki and the two are thus far proving to be a formidable musical force in their home country. _

_Last night, however, was Noda's chance to shine as a soloist as Chiaki was relegated to being a member of the audience. Playing in her first recital to an audience of five hundred, since her untimely retirement, Noda proved that she still had the qualities that thrust her into the limelight four years ago. Noda, whose alma mater includes the Conservatoire de Paris, demonstrated her technical mastery and skill, playing a selection from masters such as Chopin, Schumann, Liszt and Mozart. The 33 year old confessed to me later that in her student days in Japan, she had trouble getting along with Mozart. But happily, last night no such animosity existed. In fact, one could arguably suggest that Ms Noda was on supremely friendly terms with her entire programme._

_The recital was part of a charity benefit organized by the Ministry of Education of Japan and all proceeds went to promoting music in Japanese elementary schools._

* * *

"It's wonderful to be home… in our home…" Nodame jumped into bed with unexpected zest. 

"How do you feel?"

"Alright, I suppose… Just the usual tiredness."

"You don't look too bad. Better than you have for a long time."

"You think so?"

Chiaki nodded. "You don't know how relieved I am… I wasn't sure if the schedule was too much too soon."

"You worry too much."

"Someone has to." Chiaki put his arm around her and fondled her hair. "You throw yourself into these performances with such abandon, it's nerve wrecking."

"You only live once." She reminded him. "Still, I am ready for a short break."

"I'm ready for you to have a long break. The longer the better."

"You are worst than my mother. Honestly. Don't forget that the doctors are amazed at my rapid recovery."

"Well, I don't want you to do anything reckless… to jeopardize that."

"I won't… I can't anyway, with you breathing down my neck… 24/7."

"Speaking of breathing down necks… how about you direct some of this newfound energy and make your husband a happy man."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Are you implying that you're unhappy with me at the moment?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Her eyes gleamed with mischief and a second later found her face at the receiving end of a feather pillow.

* * *

Nodame and Chiaki were nearly asleep when the phone rang after midnight. Neither were particularly inclined to answer it but as the ringing persisted and gradually grew louder, Nodame gave in and groped around the bedside table to pick the phone up. 

"Hello…" It was a drowsy Nodame that answered.

"Nodame… how are you? Congratulations on a successful comeback!" She could just make out the familiar Germanic inflection on the other end of the line.

"Milch… is that you? Did you ring just to say that? Do you know what time it is?"

"No, what time is it? I'm in New York at the moment."

"You are?" Nodame was becoming more awake.

"Yeah… congratulations again… I've heard the good news…"

Nodame was wondering if she was in some mad dream with Milch at the centre of her woes. "What good news?"

"Silly me… I forgot that the postal system isn't quite as efficient as the internet but they didn't have your email."

"Milch, what the heck are you talking about? Are you drunk?"

"Not this time, dear girl… not this time…"

"I'm going to hang up now. Check for time differences next time before calling."

"It's good to hear your voice…"

Nodame didn't wait to hear what else Streseman had to say and hung up. Immediately after that she took the phone off the hook.

A voice from under the sheets next to her mumbled. "What did that old pervert have to say?"

"He didn't make much sense… Congratulated me twice… not sure what the second time was for. Said he was in New York."

"Wondering what he was thinking… ringing this late."

"Who knows…" She grumbled before adjusting herself into a more comfortable position.

* * *

It wouldn't be very long before they received the full explanation to Streseman's cryptic phone call. The "good news" that Streseman had intimated about arrived in their letter box a few days later. 

Nodame was enjoying a moment in the sun when Chiaki went out to get the mail. Shuffling through the pile, he noticed one addressed to the both of them which had the familiar logo of the New York Philharmonic printed on the top left hand corner of the envelop. Running into the house and tearing through the sealed envelop flap, he fell into the nearest chair. He glanced through the enclosed letter and tumbled out into the garden.

"Nodame…" He gasped breathlessly.

"What's wrong…"

"Nothing's wrong. Just look at this."

She snatched the letter from him and read it twice before falling to the ground in complete disbelief.

_Dear Ms Noda and Mr Chiaki_

_On hearing about your recent successes in Tokyo, we wish to extend to you both the invitation of performing as soloist and guest conductor respectively during the next season of performances at the New York Philharmonic. A mutual acquaintance, Herr Franz Streseman has assured us of your availability but we would wish to confirm this in writing as soon as possible. Enclosed is a list of dates that are on offer._

_We are eager to hear from you both and look forward to a mutually beneficial venture._

"Pinch me… Chiaki senpai and tell me that I'm not dreaming."

Chiaki bent over and kissed her instead. "You're not dreaming."

"Gyabo! I still can't believe it." Nodame wandered starry eyed around the garden like a child in a candy shop. "And Milch arranged this?"

"It wouldn't surprise me… that old snake…" Chiaki remarked guardedly. "Wonder what the catch is… I hope he doesn't think he can drag you half way across the world at his own pleasure…"

"Such a suspicious mind. Mukya!"

"Where Streseman is concerned, one should be suspicious…" declared Chiaki. "However, he is very fond of you… and there's no doubting that."

"You'll be conducting the New York Phil after all, Chiaki." She was gazing at him elated.

Chiaki let out a grunt. "Well, that remains to be seen. Where's that list of dates?"

"You don't seem keen." Nodame searched his face.

"I'm as excited as the next person but your recovery is our top priority. I don't want you killing yourself over an orchestra."

"Not just any orchestra…"

"But not something worth dying over."

"I'm not planning to die…"

"Nobody does…" Chiaki muttered philosophically. "Where are you going?" He demanded as he saw her take off towards the house.

"To call your mother…"

"My mother? Why?"

"Who do you think organized my world tour?"

* * *

_First up in ANN's culture and arts bulletin. Former Chopin and Tilburn prize winner, Megumi Noda has accepted an invitation to perform for a short stint as soloist with the New York Philharmonic. Accompanying her is husband, Shinichi Chiaki, who will also be participating as guest conductor. _

_Ms Noda made her return to public life several months ago when she performed with the Tokyo based NHK Symphony orchestra, under the direction of Chiaki. Although both have enjoyed successful individual careers, it signaled the start of a new musical force that some music aficionados have labeled "the golden pair." Since her return, Ms Noda has not only performed alongside the NHK but also the Tokyo Symphony Orchestra, the Japan Philharmonic and the Rising Star Orchestra of which Chiaki is a founding member. She has also given two major recitals in aid of government- run charity projects._

_News of her illness only came to public knowledge months after her retirement, while she was receiving treatment of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. But now, Ms Noda appears ready to take on the world yet again. ANN spoke to Megumi Noda just two days ago and bring you this rare interview by the publicity shy pianist._

"The last time we talked which was eighteen months ago, you announced your retirement. You said nothing about your illness. Why?"

"I didn't want to seem like a victim… I hate the idea of being pitied. Whatever the outcome, I wanted to be remembered primarily for my music."

"We also talked about you settling down… and you said at the time that you were 'unhappily single'."

"I was unhappily single. It was through a chance meeting two days after our interview that I was reunited with the man who is now my husband."

"You use the word 'reunited'… does that mean that you and Mr Chiaki had some kind of relationship previously?"

"Yes, while we were students in Japan and while I was studying at the Conservatoire in Paris."

"So it's a case of 'they live happily ever after' for the both of you then?"

"It's hard to say at this juncture but I know that every extra day that I have in this world is to be treasured and I don't take anything for granted."

"Is this why you've returned to performing?"

"Very much so… the music keeps me going although my husband would love for me to slow down completely."

_The couple will be heading off to the United States in 2 months time, performing with the New York Philharmonic and The Philadelphia Orchestra._

* * *

Half way across the globe, a former girlfriend and her father maintained more than a passing interest in the happenings of the pair in question. They watched the ANN interview with great interest. 

"She is quite something, isn't she, Dad?"

"Oh yes… stubborn, mad and delightful."

"I'm surprised that they had never performed together."

"She was still doing competitions in those days, not too long out of the Conservatoire."

"Waiting for the right moment?"

"Possibly… Are you thinking about going?"

"Of course… got my ticket already."

"Already! You're keen. Are you sure that you're alright with this?"

"Well, it's not everyday I get to see two brilliant musicians who happen to be married to each other, performing together on stage."

"Yes, it will be very interesting…"

* * *

"Shinichi… I don't understand something…" Nodame walked into the bedroom where Chiaki appeared absorbed in his book. 

"What is it?" He looked up to see her looking rather seriously disturbed.

"Why do the media put all their focus on me? You're the better musician of the two of us… much better."

"I don't care… even if that's true…"

"But I do. You and I know that you're more talented."

"Maybe. But you're more newsworthy… you're the courageous pianist that has comeback from being on the brink of death. Everyone likes to hear about that."

"But not at the expense of your career."

"My career is unaffected by the media's lack of interest in me. Besides, I'm getting to guest conduct not just one but two of 'The Big Five' thanks to you most probably."

"It bothers me."

"It doesn't bother me in the slightest. We're making music together… isn't that what it's all about?"

Nodame didn't look convinced and walked off quietly to another part of the room. Chiaki suppressed a smile. _Even now, she still doesn't realise how good she really is. _He returned to his book only to be confronted by Nodame several minutes later who was deliberating over the finer points of negligee design.

"So which one do you prefer?" She was holding up two different pieces. "The green floral one or the black lace one."

"Huh? They're both nice."

"But which one do you like better?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does. The wife needs to please her husband in all things."

"Since when did you worry about that?" He looked at her skeptically.

"I always worry about that… But you need special treatment tonight."

"I do?" Chiaki looked dumbfounded, wondering what this conversation was heading.

"I want you to feel wanted and appreciated."

"I'm fine, Nodame, really…"

"That's what you say… Hmmm… I think the green floral one will set the tone for what I'm trying to achieve here. What do you think?"

Chiaki thought it best to play along. "I think you're right… it would be hard for any man to resist an attractive woman in a green floral negligee."

"Wonderful. It's a date then. When you finish your book, that is." She declared.

He slammed his book shut immediately. "I can finish the book anytime. But a date with a green floral negligee is a gift horse that should not be kept waiting."

* * *

Classical Life: A Japanese in New York

_By John Randall_

_The great Irish playwright and essayist, George Bernard Shaw once said this about his American public: "__Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.__" _

_That same adoration was plainly seen last night when Japanese pianist Megumi Noda returned to the United States to perform alongside the New York Philharmonic for the first time in her career. conducted by husband, Shinichi Chiaki. The couple and the orchestra played to a packed Avery Fisher Hall as the 2 738 strong audience sat enthralled by the assertive yet playful sounds of both pianist and orchestra. On this occasion as well as every other since they joined forces, husband and wife were clearly in tune and there was a striking sense of intimacy in the performances as one migh expect from two people whose knowledge of one another go beyond the superficial._

_Noda, who is known for her ability to negotiate fast passages, was true to form as she greeted her American fans with a rousing rendition of Gershwin's_ Rhapsody in Blue_. Later, when I conversed briefly with the pianist, she told me that it was a dream come true for her to perform at Avery Fisher Hall with Chiaki. _

_In keeping with what occurred during her concerts in Japan, the pianist rested from the middle part of the programme (Beethoven's Third) and returned for the final part, accompanying conductor and orchestra for Ravel's_ Piano Concerto in G Major

_It was clear to all that Megumi Noda spoke through her music last night… and there's no sign that her American audience will tire of her for a long time to come._

* * *

Her legs were swinging off the stage as she gazed awestruck at her surroundings. Chiaki ran up to her out of breath and relieved. 

"So you're here. I was looking everywhere for you. I almost called security."

"Sorry… but I had to have one final look." Nodame looked apologetic but then fell back into her dreamy stupor. "Isn't this place magnificent?"

Taking his place beside her, he replied, "Yeah, it is…"

"Mukya… me… playing at the Lincoln Centre with the New York Phil. Imagine that."

He smiled affectionately at her. _She's still such a child some times. There are some things that really haven't changed and I hope they never will. _"You were… phenomenal tonight."

"So were you. You really do know all my habits."

"Of course…"

"So it's off to Philadelphia now?" She made some attempt to get up but he stayed her arm.

"Where are you going?" He spoke with feigned sharpness.

"Huh?" Before she could react, he leaned over and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

* * *

_Just the epilogue to go..._


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

It was the final night of their American stint. The husband and wife took their bows to the deafening applause, accolades and standing ovation. She looked at him a little apprehensively and tried to make herself heard through the noise.

"Shinichi, I have something I have to tell you…" Her voice just managed to permeate through the din.

"What?! Can't it wait…" He yelled back, barely able to make out her words.

"Well, sort of… but I want to tell you now…"

"Alright… what is it?"

"You know how I've been eating a lot more lately?"

"You always eat a lot."

"But more so than usual."

"Okay... perhaps... So what?"

"Do you remember what you said about the spare rooms in the house? What they were for?"

"Yes…."

"Well, we are going to need one of them soon… In about eight months…"

It took a few moments for the ramifications of that statement to drive home. His jaw fell open. His mouth opened and closed several times before he was able to say anything, Finally turning to face her, he managed to master his growing euphoria. "Really? You mean you are… and I am going…" As if remembering something, he protested "Wait a minute. Weren't you supposed to wait a bit longer?"

"Ah, but one cannot go against fate." She remarked sagely.

There was little for him to say in response… Safe to say, he had misgivings but there was also great anticipation. For better or worse, the future was going to be interesting.

She grinned happily. "Isn't it good?"

"Good? It's mind blowing. I don't know what to say."

"You'll know… when the time comes."

"And you choose to tell me now?" He looked at her warily. "In front of hundreds?"

"Well, I thought if you knew sooner, you might have stopped me from performing."

"Megumi Noda… you're really quite mad, you know…"

"So you keep saying… Gyabo... Do you think this madness is genetic?"

FIN

* * *

**Author's Comments:**

_I had never intended for this fic to have a tragic ending primarily because Nodame Cantabile isn't, to my mind, that kind of story. Although I stripped away much of the humour early on, it was always a story about love and hope. At the risk of sounding fatalistic, I think from what we've seen in the manga, it is evident that Chiaki and Nodame are meant to be. It's purely a matter of them growing and maturing as a couple. _

_Frankly speaking, I'm exhausted. The number of sleepless nights I've had over this… I'm just glad that I can get back to my life… to catching up on some reading and viewing._

_Do review, won't you? I confess to being very curious about those nameless hits that I've been getting._

**Ebony:** _You get my award for most loyal reviewer… with _**SB Kisses**_ following closely behind. You have no idea how much I appreciated seeing your comments chapter after chapter… to know that someone was enjoying this piece of insignificant fluff. :D_

**Myzee:** _It's been fantastic to have you on board. Thanks for the Kuroki idea… it was very helpful. I know I gave him a Japanese wife in this story but I'm not super enthused about the whole Kuroki/Tanya pairing in the manga. I'm so glad that he's going to be in the European SP. _

**YDKM:** _Your comment about the length of Chapter 15 was interesting considering that it is actually the second longest chapter in the entire story. I take it as a compliment that it ended too quickly for you. ;-)_

_I'm toying with a couple of ideas… one is a sequel to _A Roman Holiday_, but we'll have to see. I fear that I'm going to be typecasted but I do love Nodame and Chiaki though. Such a delicious pairing…_


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